Gumdrop Cake

Whenever I see an elderly caker, I think of all the old-fashioned words that person probably uses; words like “girdle” and “horse feathers” and “chequebook” and “gol-dern.”

Another word I associate with seniors is “gumdrop.” So when my mom asked me to make something for a senior’s bake sale, this was the first thing that came to mind. I imagined an old person buying it and saying, “Gumdrop Cake! Why, I haven’t had this in a fortnight!”

I’m not sure why you can’t use black gumdrops. I’m guessing the colour bleeds into the batter. Which would make this a grey gumdrop cake. And that would only go over well with seniors who have bad vision.

Grey or not, this cake is gol-dern tasty. It’s dense, citrusy and the gumdrops cling to your teeth for hours afterwards.

1 cup butter or margarine
2 cups white sugar
3 eggs
1 cup crushed pineapple, drained
3 ½ cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 teaspoon lemon flavouring
1 pound cut up gumdrops (no black ones) (about 2 cups)
½ pound raisins (about 1 ½ cups)
½ cup milk (added last)

Combine and mix all ingredients with milk added last. Bake in a greased tube pan at 325º for 1½ hours.

Source: Celebration Cookbook, Canadian Bible Society (I know I used this book last week, but it's my latest obsession. Over 612 pages of coast-to-coast caker recipes!)

Caker Sharing is Caker Caring

Recently, a Caker Cooking reader sent me a link to the Campbell's Soup website for Chicken Pot Pie. You can find the recipe here.

This recipe illustrates the condition known among medical professionals as "Caker Delusional Syndrome." Even though this recipe calls for low fat soup, it don't make it no low fat recipe. Especially when you top it with a pie crust.

But who cares? Thong season is still weeks away.

Some advice from Tracy: "If you have carrots in your frozen mix make sure you pre-cook them a bit or their crunchiness makes the texture seem a bit off."

I like a woman who knows her texture. Thanks, Tracy!

If you stumble across a recipe that you think should find its fame and fortune on Caker Cooking, just email cakercooking at gmail dot com.

Clod Hoppers

As previously noted, we cakers like to steal popular food items, add some weird ingredients and then reclaim that food as our own. (See Quick and Easy Skor Bars as an example.) These Clod Hoppers are no different. Chocolatey. Salty. Graham crackery. In fact, I had to wonder: are these better than the original?

I conducted a taste test with myself and, well, myself and I found these Clod Hoppers tasted way better than the ones I bought at Bulk Barn. The ones from Bulk Barn had a faint cumin flavour. Although, if we're going to be honest, most things from Bulk Barn have a faint cumin flavour.

But don’t take my word for it. I brought these into the office and they were gone before I could even ask, “Any of you guys want to check out my new Beta video player this weekend?”

4 cups Golden Grahams cereal
2 cups white chocolate wafers
2 tablespoons oil
1 cup salted peanuts

Melt chocolate and oil in a double boiler. Add peanuts and grahams. Spread onto a waxed paper lined cookie sheet. When cooled and set, break into pieces. Store in airtight containers.

Source: Celebration Cookbook, Canadian Bible Society

Sue’s Tuna Burgers™

My sister hit a milestone birthday the other day, so I thought it only fitting to post a caker recipe that she invented on her own. Needless to say, I’ve taken the liberty of trade-marking it before the Red Lobster folks realize what a goldmine this recipe is.

One of my fondest memories growing up was coming home from church on a Sunday morning. Yes, I went to church, but it was more about the opportunity to wear a bolo tie. And if Sue had woken up before lunch (which, truthfully, was a bit of rarity), she’d be in her fluffy blue bathrobe and these Tuna Burgers would be toasting away in the oven.

What makes Sue’s Tuna Burgers™ so unique is the sprinkle of oregano on top. How or why she ever did that in the first place is a mystery, probably to Sue herself. But don’t question a chef and her artistry. Just enjoy the fruits – or, in this case, the Cheez Whiz – of her labour.

Happy birthday, Sue. Thanks for those Sunday morning memories.

Hamburger buns
Cheez Whiz
Tuna
Oregano

Spread bun halves with Cheez Whiz. Place tuna on top. Add a dollop of Cheez Whiz. Sprinkle with oregano. Broil until the Cheez Whiz looks like it has a fatal skin condition. Best eaten with a side of dill pickle. Fluffy blue bathrobe optional.

Source: Caker Sue

(I'd be a dead man if it wasn't for that black bar. And yes, that's MY mini Pac Man game she's playing with. It was probably returned to me once the twelve C batteries it required had died.)

UPDATE: My photograph of Sue’s Tuna Burgers™is causing some controversy in my family. I received an email today, informing me that I "burned" the Cheez Whiz on top. Apparently, there's an "art form" to melting the cheese. (BTW: This isn't coming from Sue, who has yet to see the post, which is probably why her picture remains up.) I replied that's how I remember them. They were always goddamned burnt on the top. The only one who can resolve this is Sue. I'll report back.

Reader Recipe: Impossible Pie

Recently, a reader from Chicago came across a recipe in a cookbook that she said “screamed Caker Cooking.”

Impossible Pie doesn’t just scream caker; it shatters the sound barrier. Cakers love it because a) it's easy to make and b) we like using blenders.

What makes Impossible Pie magical is that the ingredients separate while baking. The Bisquick sinks to form a crust, the eggs and milk make custard and the coconut rises to create a crunchy, golden-brown crust.

In fact, it’s “impossible” to screw up. Unless you’re Greek. Remember my friend from Caker Christmas who substituted Werther’s candies for butterscotch chips to make Peanut Butter Marshmallow Squares? (Click here and scroll to the bottom to see the photo). A few years back, she made Impossible Pie and, well, here's the picture.

It looks like one of those old-fashioned irons. I mean, I don't even see any coconut. How did she manage to screw up a pie you put in a blender?

Anyway, so long as you're not Greek, you'll have no problem making this pie.

Thanks to Godzilaw for submitting this recipe! If you’ve got a recipe you want to share, send it along to cakercooking at gmail dot com.


¼ cup butter, softened
4 eggs, beaten
¾ cup coconut
½ cup sugar
½ cup Bisquick
1 teaspoon vanilla
2 cups milk
Pinch of salt

Put all of above ingredients in a blender. Mix 1-2 minutes. Pour into well-greased pie pan. Bake at 350° for 40-45 minutes. Believe it or not, this pie makes its own pastry, filling and topping.

Note: If you really want to impress your guests with an "impossibly" memorable evening, I suggest serving Impossible Tuna Pie as your main before serving Impossible Pie for dessert. I guarantee your guests will never forgive forget it.

Source: St. Anthony’s Manna

Wieners and Beans

Cakers can’t leave well enough alone. We’re like the bedazzlers of the food world.

For example, take something classic like good ol’ wieners and beans. Most non-cakers would assume that the folks at Heinz know a thing or two about making beans. After all, common sense tells us that adding ingredients to canned food seems to defeat the purpose of canned food in the first place. Right?

Not so with cakers. We can’t resist adding some dehydrated onion flakes or a plop of ketchup to just about anything. It’s a wonder this recipe doesn’t say to roll the wieners in JELL-O powder.

Crap. I shouldn’t have said that. Somewhere, a light bulb just went off inside a caker’s head.

2 cans pork and beans
1 package onion soup mix
½ cup catsup
¼ cup water
2 tablespoons brown sugar
1 tablespoon prepared mustard
1 pound wieners (See note 1)

Mix together all ingredients. Place in casserole and bake in moderate oven for 30 minutes (See note 2).

Note 1: 1 pound = one package

Note 2: I left these in longer. About 45 minutes at 350.

Source: Cooking with Durham County Junior Farmers

Caker Sharing is Caker Caring

I always enjoy hearing from fellow cakers and lately, I've been hearing from more and more of you. Is it any wonder that this little ditty has been playing in my head?

Sherri recently sent me the link for this recipe. Folks, your eyes aren't deceiving you. It's an edible candle. My god, are cakers clever or what?

If you come across something and want to share it, simply email me at cakercooking at gmail dot com and I'll do my best to post it and spread the caker love.