Caker Brian: What is the name of my blog?
Caker Queen: (lengthy pause) Crater.
CB: Is it true you were addicted to Shreddies?
CQ: Yes, I was addicted. When I get on to something, I eat it all the time. I don’t eat Shreddies anymore, though. I eat Cheerios now, along with some of that grain cereal to make everything solid [Don’t ask what she means. Trust me, you don’t want to know. – Ed] Every morning, I have Cheerios with the grain cereal, blueberries, a banana, an orange juice and a coffee. That’s my breakfast everyday.
CB: Is it true that we were so poor growing up that instead of soda pop, you gave us brown well water with Alka Seltzer?
CQ: Oh, Brian. No. God almighty. No. Jeez. Take that off there.
CB: What would you consider your signature dish?
CQ: (sigh) Like a casserole, maybe. Well, the one that you like. That one with macaroni and ground beef, tomato soup and onion. I don’t know what it’s called. [None of her casseroles have actual names. They all begin with “That one with…”– Ed]
CB: Is there a recipe you’d like to share with fellow cakers?
CQ: Maybe my stew. Cut some stewing beef in small pieces, put it on the bottom of a casserole, add some carrots, potatoes, onion and celery. Pour over a couple cans of V-8. It takes a long time. 250° for four hours. You can throw in anything you want. Serve it with bread or a salad. V-8 has lots of spices, so you don’t need to add anything else.
I made this as per my mom’s instructions. It tasted pretty good but was kind of watery. When I told her this, we had the following exchange:
“I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you to add that thing.”
“What thing?”
“Oh, dear. What’s it’s called?”
“Corn starch?”
“No, not that.”
“Flour?”
“Not, not flour. Jeez, why can’t I remember it?”
“Plaster of Paris?”
“Tapioca! Sprinkle two or three teaspoons on top.”
Source: The Caker Queen
Awww. That was really cute :) I think you should change the name of your blog to Crater.
ReplyDeleteShe's called it many other things, as well. Including Quaker Cooking. I almost considered it for a moment.
DeleteI want to hug your mom so hard.
ReplyDeleteYou're in luck! She's now accepting gay male companion applicants.You just need to compliment her on her outfits, know your way around a package of ground beef and watch HLN Mysteries with her on Saturday nights. You'll also have the important task of keeping her awake in the final 10 minutes. She always falls asleep before the murder is solved.
DeletePLEASE tell me that this won't be the last Q&A with Mom!!
ReplyDeleteI also want to hug her. Where does the line form?
I'll bring her back for another Q&A, but she'll probably start charging me. Speaking of charging, it's 25 cents a hug. I'm working on a new business venture here.
DeleteAgreed, I kind of love your mom. But I don't want to hug her. Just have her cook for me.
ReplyDeleteAre you absolutely certain about that, Jude?
DeleteNow I see where you get all your awesomeness :)
ReplyDeleteI will pass that comment on to my mother. Just one more thing she'll say I'm indebted to her for.
DeleteAwwwww, your mama caker queen really love's her little babushka!
ReplyDeleteI'm going to get her a T-shirt that says that and then ask her to wear it never.
DeleteI agree. You need to interview your mom more often. She's such a hoot!
ReplyDeleteShe's in the process of getting an agent now. I'm screwed.
Delete