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Monday 28 May 2012

Coca Cola Salad




When the warm weather hits, I think of two things: getting a Brazilian and sipping an ice-cold Coca Cola. Cakers love Coke almost as much as we love Cream of Mushroom soup. We pour Coke over our roasts, we plop ice cream into it and we use it as mouthwash. Some of us even use Coke in science experiments with our baby teeth. (See the comments section for Coke Roast.)

In fact, cakers and Coke seem to go hand-in-hand. Maybe it’s the sugar. Or that we enjoy belching.

In any case, here’s a ruby-hued salad that packs all of summer’s sweetness into a single bowl. It’s got cherry JELL-O, cherry pie filling, Dream Whip, a can of you-know-what and about 4296 calories.

Why is there a can of Coke in this? Who knows? A caker might say it adds flavour. I think it’s more about adding another 10 teaspoons of sugar. I should've been a caker dentist.

1 large package cherry JELL-O
1 ½ cups boiling water
1 10 ounce bottle Coke (1 can)
1 can cherry pie filling
1 can crushed pineapple, drained
1 package Dream Whip (see note)
1 package cream cheese
½ cup icing sugar

Dissolve JELL-O in boiling water. Add Coke and allow to thicken slightly. Stir in cherry pie filling and pineapple. Chill until set. Beat cream cheese. Add icing sugar. Fold in Dream Whip. Put on top of JELL-O. Decorate with cherries.

I made mine look real purdy-like.

Note: Make the Dream Whip as per the package instructions before adding it in.

















Source: The Best of Enbridge









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16 comments:

  1. Mimi28 May 2012 at 08:57

    I love that this is called a "salad".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brian Francis28 May 2012 at 15:06

      Mimi, "salad" is one of the most loosely-defined terms in the caker vocabulary. It can apply to lettuce, JELL-O or a mode of transportation.

      Delete
  2. veg-o-matic29 May 2012 at 08:09

    Wow. That's just...wow. It sounds tooth-achingly sweet, and yet...

    I think I want to try it. Normally not much of a Jell-O fan, but that cream cheese/Dream Whip combo has Awesome written all over it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brian Francis29 May 2012 at 17:06

      Veg-o-matic, I didn't know they still made Dream Whip. I thought it went the way of the dinosaur. I'm glad to know there are still people whipping that powder into something between Cool Whip and foam. My only issue with Dream Whip is that it always tastes "envelopey" to me. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but at the very least, I just invented a new word.

      Delete
    2. veg-o-matic30 May 2012 at 13:41

      We used Dream Whip when I was a mere lad and I remember loving it. Or maybe I just loved the envelopiness of it (see? I can do it, too.) I find Cool Whip somewhat disgusting, though I have certainly purchased and consumed it.
      I can vouch for Yinzerella (and not many people can say that): you can definitely use Coke to clean your toilet. Aslo to remove corrosion from your car battery.
      BTW, how'd that Brazilian work out for you?

      Delete
    3. Brian Francis3 June 2012 at 19:13

      The Brazilian went smoothly. It'll be a different story when the ol' five o'clock shadow revs up.

      Delete
  3. Anonymous29 May 2012 at 11:13

    You can also use Coca-Cola to clean your toilet.
    True story.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brian Francis29 May 2012 at 19:17

      Yinzerella, I think you're giving my caker leg a good yank. I've never once heard of someone using Coke to clean their toilet. Mountain Dew, yes. But never Coke.

      Delete
  4. Clare2 June 2012 at 19:34

    I would totally eat this. Cherry and Coke, ftw. Salad? Not so much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brian Francis3 June 2012 at 19:16

      Clare, you should totally make this. But before doing so, just make sure you don't require sleep for 72 hours afterwards. The sugar content will have you renovating your living room at 3am. Guaranteed.

      Delete
  5. The Vintage Cabin8 June 2012 at 19:18

    I wonder if this would fuck you up as much as those bath salts them there kids are doing these days?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brian Francis9 June 2012 at 05:07

      True story: when I was a kid, I put an Avon bath oil ball in my mouth and chomped down. I haven't eaten one since.

      Delete
  6. The Vintage Cabin8 June 2012 at 19:19

    Btw, I think that Enbridge book has had the most recipes featured so far. Am I right? Have you kept track of which book has yielded the most published recipes? I'm curious.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brian Francis9 June 2012 at 05:11

      I haven't done an official count, but I should. My guess it's between Enbridge and the Canadian Bible Society cookbooks. Enbridge is a really weird one, because it's not very big, but man, it's hardcore caker. Special K Roast. Coca Cola Salad. Cranberry Chicken. Popcorn Salad. There must've been some funky Kool-Aid in the water cooler.

      Delete
  7. Tami27 June 2012 at 14:27

    So, if I made this with Diet Coke, it becomes healthy, right?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Brian Francis27 June 2012 at 17:22

      While I applaud your efforts, Tami, I think that using the word "healthy" might be a bit ambitious. A truer statement might be: "So, if I made this with Diet Coke, it becomes aspartamey, right?" To which I'd reply, "Yep."

      Delete