Monday 8 July 2013

Chocolate Chip Cheese Ball

When I’m thumbing through a cookbook, it’s pretty easy for me to separate the caker recipes from the non-caker ones. The telltale signs are instructions like, “pour contents of envelope,” or “assemble all ingredients,” or “cover and bake until Oprah’s over.” But sometimes, a recipe can leave me on the fencepost.

Cheese balls are popular among cakers, mainly because they combine our love of cheese and ball-shaped food. And while Chocolate Chip Cheese Ball looked tasty, I wasn’t sure it was caker enough. Then I came across this ingredient:

Simulated chocolate chips

And that sealed the deal. Why would cakers eat real chocolate when we could eat pieces of brown wax instead? Of course, you could use real chocolate chips, but don’t admit this to other cakers. It’ll get awkward and you'll hear comments like, “Well, someone won the lottery,” or “Girls, look who's gone all Martha Stewartson on us.”

1 package cream cheese, softened
½ cup butter
¼ teaspoon vanilla
¾ cup icing sugar
2 tablespoons brown sugar
¾ cup miniature simulated chocolate chips
Graham crackers

Blend cream cheese, butter and vanilla until fluffy. Add sugars; beat just until combined. Combine the chocolate chips. Cover and refrigerate for 2 hours. Place cream cheese mixture on a long piece of plastic wrap. Shape into a big ball. Serve with graham crackers.

Note: I rolled my ball in the remaining chocolate chips to maximize the simulation taste.

Source: Our Family Favourites, Stirling Primary/Junior School

Yes, this is the second week in a row I've used this cookbook, but it's a goldmine. Plus, that cover is a work of art.


  1. Well, so did you use simulated chocolate chips? I don't think I've ever seen those in the store, and I shop at some pretty sketchy places.
    Rolling the ball in the leftover "chocolate" chips certainly makes for a nice presentation, but of course, I think it would be better still if it were flambéed.

    1. All that wax - it'd burn like a candle! Now that would be very Martha Stewart, wouldn't it?

    2. A brown, burning ball. That gets people to the dinner table every time.

  2. I would eat that entire thing over in a corner while growling at anyone who approached. Cakers Gone Wild!

    1. Hmm. I think your Cakers Gone Wild idea has some potential. I'm imagining a caker holding up a Burger King with a glue gun.

  3. I'm left nearly speechless at the simulated chocolate chips. Tis a travesty, even for a caker. I've seen simulated chocolate chips in the past at Safeway, so I can verify that they do exist.
    Well, I agree, turn it into a candle - very Martha Stewart and Caker all at once!

    1. Who needs electricity when you have a Chocolate Chip Cheese Ball Candle?

  4. Did you make this just for your own self? Did you sit in front of the tv with your plate on your lap working your way through the whole ball? I must admit that I find this whole concept rather odd. I have never seen a cheese ball in real life.

    1. I shared it with some co-workers who raved about it. I couldn't trust myself. Bad things happen when I'm left alone with ball-shaped food.

  5. Replies
    1. Oh, how I wish I'd thought of that one myself. Let me officially proclaim you as the winner of "Words for Fake Chocolate."

  6. Brian,
    Just came across your blog (love it) and apparently I've been a caker for a very very long time, and didn't even realize it!

    About 2 years ago for Christmas, I made up a family recipe book of all the stuff I would cook when the kids were younger. I didn't realize how many 'caker' recipes I made.

    There are few recipes that I know you would love - many involve Velveeta, Miracle Whip or cream of mushroom soup (I swear anything made with cream of mushroom was gobbled down).

    I know you would enjoy it - and I was wondering if it would be OK if I e-mailed it to you....let me know.

    Polly Shepard

    1. Hi Polly. Welcome to the caker club! If this blog has helped you discover your roots, well, that makes all the cholesterol worth while.
      Your recipe book sounds great. Please email it to me. I'd love to take a look. And who knows? I might end up featuring a Polly creation on the blog! (Fame and fortune are around the corner.) You can email to cakercooking at gmail dot com.