Monday, 26 May 2014

Lady Fingers

I live next to a senior’s residence and every morning, an old woman wearing wraparound sunglasses and a baseball hat dumps stale bread in the park across the street. I’m like, “Damn, girl, why let the pigeons have all that goodness?” So, as soon as she’s gone, I run over, scoop up the bread and hurry home before I get revenge-shat on by the pigeons.

Caker creativity shines brightest with stale white bread. There are lots of things we do with it. We cut shapes into it for block printing. We use it as a sponge to wash our Chevettes. We also rub it on our feet to get rid of callouses before open-toed-heel season starts.

This recipe magically turns old bread into the daintiest delicacy of all: Lady Fingers! While I nibbled on these, I kept imagining myself among society ladies named Tipsy and Blousy, discussing things like polo and alimony. As to how these tasted – delicious! Just like a chocolate coconut donut. Tipsy won't suspect a thing. You might want to give her an umbrella, though. Pigeons can hold grudges.

1 loaf unsliced day-old bread (see note)
5 tablespoons cocoa
1 ½ cups sugar
3 tablespoons butter
3 teaspoons vanilla
9 tablespoons hot water
Coconut

Cut crusts off loaf. Cut into 1” slices. Cut slices into 1” wide strips. Mix together cocoa, sugar, butter, vanilla and hot water in saucepan. Boil for 5 minutes. Dip the bread strips into the chocolate. Roll in shredded coconut.

Note: I let my bread stay out overnight, but it was still pretty soft when I cut into it. Damn those preservatives! So I cut it and let the pieces dry out more.

Source: Church of the Hosannas Centennial Cookbook, Hyde Park, Ontario







P.S. If you want to creep Tipsy out, serve your Lady Finger with a nail.

18 comments:

  1. I see you've had Conchita the Eurovision Song Contest winner round for afternoon tea!

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    1. We're very dear friends, actually. I asked Conchita if she thought they were the best thing she ever tasted. She replied, "Actually, the wurst." Whatever. We've always been competitive.

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  2. Your food styling photo is freakin' me out today. Reminds me of the time I bought a pan of m&m brownies from a bake sale and there was actually a fake fingernail INSIDE!!! Nothing at all like the pleasant surprise of finding the prize in the crackerjack box.

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    1. Oh no! Are you sure the fingernail wasn't supposed to be in there? Like a prize of some kind?

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  3. Replies
    1. Oh, come on, Suzanne. They're not that bad. I think the photo of the finger with the nail on it looks kind of cute. Like a lady Sasquatch.

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  4. I can imagine the pained and and horrified looks that I'd get it I made these bread filled " fingers" and served them to my chocolate crazed family. Could be fun!

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    1. They would no doubt be very conflicted. Stale bread. But chocolate! But stale bread. But chocolate!

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  5. These surely have a lost sibling in the Australian lamington - though, obviously, we're heaps posh down here and use sponge cake... (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lamington)
    We can even buy "lamington fingers" at the supermarket.

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    1. Thank you for educating me about lamingtons. I have to say, eating a chocolate-covered sponge cake does sound a little more refined than a chocolate-covered loaf of stale bread. But I suppose refinement is all in the mouth of the beholder.

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    2. Mass-market white bread is sometimes even sweeter than sponge cake. If you're going for sturdiness, I'd recommend Jamaican-style Hard Dough (or Hardo) bread which is both sweet and dense, very much like a cross between pound cake and Wonder bread. You can get it at No Frills.

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    3. Thanks for the tip. I do my grocery shopping at No Frills on Sunday mornings. I'm the one wearing track pants and loading up on the Cool Whip.

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  6. Go home, Caker. You're drunk.

    These pictures seriously freak me out.

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    1. The only thing I'm drunk on is love. Love of elegance and Lady Fingers.

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  7. These were really good? Really? Because the recipe sounds kind of awful, and those pictures sure aren't doing them any favors.
    On the other hand, you're certainly rockin' the Hairy Forearms/French Manicure look. Not many can get away with that.

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    1. They're not going to blow you away or anything, but they're actually pretty good. Rumour has it that the hairy forearm/french manicure combo is going to be HUGE this fall. You saw it here first.

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  8. reminds me a bit of German "Kalter Hund" (cold dog) - http://www.germandeli.com/Information/Recipe-for-Kalter-Hund/ ... but of course, we vamp it up with some extra cookies and coconut fat ;-)

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    1. Thanks for sharing this. I have to say, Kalter Hund looks a lot fancier than the caker version. Although, asking "Who's up for some cellar cake?" at the end of your meal might not go over too well.

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