Monday, 3 March 2014

Sex in a Pan


When it comes to sex, many cakers prefer eating it to doing it. Sex in a Pan, a dish that combines pudding, Cool Whip and water-based lubricant (okay, that was a lie) has been around the block a few times. You may have come across it by one of its tamer names, like Better than Robert Redford, Heaven in a Pan, Ecstasy in a Pan, or The Thing My Husband and I Used to Do Before He Decided Sleep Was More Desirable Than Me.

I have to give props to the woman who brazenly submitted Sex in a Pan for her church cookbook, what with all those virginal gelatin moulds and saintly shortbread cookie recipes floating around. It takes guts to be a sexual revolutionary, but it usually pays off. Just look at Lady Godiva. She rode around nude on a horse and now she’s got a chocolate empire, not to mention the money she made with that poker face song.

If you haven’t had Sex in a Pan before, stop denying yourself. This decadent, six-layer creation didn’t earn its name for no reason. In fact, it has many things in common with actual sex, including nuts, gooey substances and feelings of guilt after you're done.

1st Layer
½ cup flour
½ cup butter
1 cup pecans, chopped
Cook in 8” x 12” pan (see note) at 350° for 15 minutes. Cool.

2nd layer
1 8-ounce package Philadelphia Cream Cheese
1 cup icing sugar
Cream together and put on top of first layer.

3rd layer
½ of a large tub of Cool Whip
Spread Cool Whip over second layer.

4th layer
1 3 ½ ounce package instant chocolate pudding
1 ½ cups milk
Let set for a few minutes, then spread on third layer.

5th layer
1 3 ½ ounce package instant vanilla pudding
1 ½ cups milk
Let set for a few minutes, then spread on fourth layer

6th layer
½ tub of Cool Whip
Put the rest of the Cool Whip over fifth layer. Decorate with shavings of chocolate.

Note: Make sure you use a 8” x 12” dish because the crust won’t cover 9” x 13”. If you only have that size, consider upping the ingredients by a ¼ cup.

Source: Best Recipes This Side of Heaven, Home-Tested Recipes from Anglican Church Ladies

17 comments:

  1. Those Angelican church ladies were definitely ahead of their times. You'd never see that recipe in a Catholic church cookbook.

    When ever the subject of sex would come up around my mother, she would say "That's sick!" . Then once you found out different her response was "Your just like your farther". It's amazing she ever had 13 kids,

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    1. 13 kids? Good lord, for someone who didn't enjoy something that much, your mother certainly paid the price. But I'm sure you were all angels.

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  2. I had Sex in a Pan once. It knocked me up, and gave me the clap.

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    1. I've had the clap so many times, the doctors treat me for applause. [insert canned studio laughter]

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  3. That is a lot of pudding and Cool Whip -- I have clearly been doing sex all wrong...

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    1. When it comes to sex, there's no such thing as too much pudding.

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  4. I make a version of this that's a little more Caker-style - box of Devil's Food cake, bake it in a 9x13 pan, when it's done, poke holes all over it; mix together a can of condensed milk and about 1/2 a jar (or more) of Mrs. Richardson's caramel sauce and pour it all over the cake; let it soak in. Sprinkle half a bag of crumbled Heath Bar pieces (from the baking aisle) on the cake, cover with a tub of Cool Whip, and sprinkle the rest of the Heath Bar pieces on top. We call it Better than Sex cake here in the good ol' midwest!

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    1. The only thing missing? The Kenny G soundtrack as you make slow love to this cake. I have this recipe somewhere, although it's called something else. I'll have to find it and post it one of these days.

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  5. I find it funny that this recipe was from the Anglican church ladies.

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    1. Anglicans have sex just as much as everyone else. Otherwise, there'd be no Anglicans.

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  6. We used to call this, simply, "The Recipe." I think my mother deleted the vanilla pudding, however, for cost and time reasons.

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    1. No vanilla pudding? In that case, your mother should've called it The Celibate.

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  7. This made me snort.
    Well played.

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  8. That's one of those things I'd never make myself because I'd eat the whole pan in one night. And if it turned up at a potluck I'd have no shame getting fifths.

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    1. Trust me - you never want to make Sex in a Pan if no one else is home. It'll only end in tears.

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  9. Generally speaking, I'm too old to get pimples but this would reverse that. Yikes!

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    1. This will take you back to your Clearasil years faster than you can squeeze a whitehead.

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