Best and Worst of 2013

I had a hard time making this list. It’s like asking parents to choose their ugliest and prettiest children. (Well, in my family it wasn’t that hard, but enough about my personal issues.)

Without futher adoo, dear readers, here are my best caker recipes of the past year.

Orange Julius Shake
Tastes just like the real thing. I got sweet revenge for getting canned from my first job by posting this recipe. Next up: my Pizza Hut years.

The Great Canadian Ketchup Cake
The condiment cake giving Tomato Soup Cake a run for its money. With The Huffington Post calling it a “thing” now, no doubt Ketchup Cake will soon appear on trendy restaurant menus alongside Grey Poupon Butter Tarts.

Baked Frankfurters
I know they don’t look like much, but dang if these don’t taste like corn dogs. Only you don’t have to pay fairgrounds admission to get one. Or deal with carnies. Added bonus: the wholesomeness of corn flakes!

Chocolate Chipper Cake
Caker Cooking reader Polly sent this to me. It takes a little time to make since it calls for cooked pudding (Hello? Is this 1894?) but the extra minutes are worth it. Damp as a root cellar after a summer rainstorm.

And my best recipe for the year is…

Taco Salad
Oh my gad. My American relatives introduced me to this one. I couldn’t stop eating it. Doritos are a miracle food. In fact, I’m using them to shingle my house.

And now, the caker sh-t is about to hit the ceiling fan. Here’s the worst of 2013.

Tomato JELL-O
Let me state this clearly: No good has ever come from mixing vegetables with JELL-O. Even though tomatoes are technically fruit. IT STILL DOESN’T MATTER. This thing looks like an internal organ. Doesn’t taste much better either.

Mushroom Fluff
The fluff that flopped. This dish “moved” me like no other. I’ll spare you the details. Please don’t make this.

Kitty Litter Cake
Do you enjoy eating Tootsie Rolls that have been molded into the shape of cat feces? Well, you’re in luck.

Candle Salad
It’s not that it tasted bad. But c’mon. Serve this at the next Bridge club and people will start referring to you as the town harlot.

And my worst recipe for 2013 is…

Stove Top Pot Pourri
Smells good. Tastes horrible. Even soder crackers couldn’t help this swamp water.

And that officially wraps up another year of the culinary tapestry that is caker cooking. Ready for another exciting year of more recipes? I sure am. Sorta.

If you've got time to kill, check out my best and worst list from 2012.

Happy New Year, everyone! See you back here in 2014.


  1. You know, you could have put the mushroom fluff directly into the kitty litter cake and saved yourself a few steps.

  2. Good choices! I remember the chocolate chipper cake fondly - ours was gone faaaaaast. And well, I'm with you on any food that looks like poop or a porno money shot.

    1. That's pretty much what it comes down to, I'm afraid: poop or porn. I owe you a thanks for the baked frankfurters recipe. Now I can enjoy the taste of pogo dogs at any time of the year. I feel liberated.

  3. I am pleased, honored and humbled to be on your best of 2013 list! Thank you Brian and have a safe & happy new year!

    1. Polly, just think - your Chocolate Chipper Cake is going to be made and enjoyed by thousands of cakers across the land. Now you know what Mrs. Bisquick feels like.

      Happy new year to you, too!

  4. Hubby's been asking me forever to make him some vegetarian Pogos but I refuse to, just on principle. And along comes this post with Corn Flake covered frankfurters. These I will definitely make for him! Thanks for a great year of amusing and engaging posts that make my in box a whole heap of Caker fun.

    1. What a wonderful treat for your husband! Although "vegetarian Pogos" are two words I never thought I'd see side by side.
      Have a great new year and let me know what the hubs thinks of them!

  5. Brian...I don't think you're supposed to chow down on the potpourri.

    1. What? But it was in a cookbook. It didn't say not to eat it. Next you'll tell me not to eat homemade playdough.

  6. Candle salad! Best worst caker recipe of all time. I still love it so much.

    1. It does have a certain charm, doesn't it? I mean, you could almost call it cute. If it didn't look so intimidating.

  7. Brian, Potpourri is the smelly stuff you cook on the stove to make your house smell good instead of all those nasty sprays lol I guess you could use it as a detox drink if you really felt brave. Did you really try soda crackers in it?

    1. What? You mean pot pourri is like Wizard lavendar bathroom spray? I'll have to give it another chance. Believe me - you'd have to detox AFTER eating this soup. I might be fibbing a bit about the soda crackers. I used Wheat Thins.