Sunday 24 May 2020

Tang Dessert

When I revived Caker Cooking last month, I promised dieticians across the country it would only be for a limited time. And I’m a caker of my word. With things starting to get back to normal (Kinda? Sorta? Maybeish?), it seems like my work here is done. So, to wrap up this 2020 edition, I’ve saved the best – and the worst – caker recipes for last. Get ready for a bumpy – or is that burpy? – final two weeks.

Like most children who needed dentures by the age of 10, I grew up drinking Tang for breakfast, alongside a bowl of Strawberry Shortcake cereal swimming in Nestle Quik chocolate milk. I still remember the day when I first learned that orange juice actually came from an orange, not an envelope. It was more shocking than when Mother told me about the Easter Bunny. A.K.A. the worst 18th birthday ever.

This recipe for Tang Dessert, taken from the Knox United Church cookbook in Qu’Appelle, Saskatchewan, got me all juiced up. The last time I made something with Tang was Tang Pie, which was damn delicious. Would Tang Dessert prove to be a worthy successor?

2 cups graham cracker crumbs
½ cup melted butter
1/3 cup brown sugar
2 small packages orange or lemon JELL-O
2/3 cup white sugar
2 cups Tang juice
15 oz chilled evaporated milk (see note)

For the crust, mix everything together except for ½ cup crumbs. Press into a 9x13 pan. Bake at 350 for 10-15 minutes. For the filling, combine JELL-O, sugar and Tang. Heat until dissolved. Chill until partially set. Whip milk (must be chilled) and fold in. Spread on cooled crust. Sprinkle remaining crumbs on top. Chill until set

I couldn’t find Tang at the grocery store at first. Turns out it’s been downsized, like a Tide Pod. I know we live in super-concentrated times, but I missed tearing open the package, dipping my finger in and licking the powder off. On the plus side, I wasn’t walking around with Orange Finger Syndrome for the remainder of the week.

Can we all take a moment to appreciate the glory that is the graham cracker crust? It's often  overlooked, but it’s been the foundation of desserts since time immemorial. Personally, I think the graham cracker crust is the best part of any dessert. In fact, I’d just as soon eat a pan of graham cracker crust. Hold on – I think I just invented something: Graham Cracker Crust Squares. Someone call Dragon’s Den!

This recipe gave me a chance to whip out my Eaton Viking electric beater. I got it a few months ago at Val Vill for only five bucks. True, it emits a musty odour when it’s turned on, but I’m a middle-aged homosexual. I’ve smelled mustier things in my day LOL!

So, what was the verdict for Tang Dessert? No point in sugar-coating anything. It was freaking delicious! It’s easily one of the best desserts I’ve ever featured on this blog. In terms of taste, it was light, foamy and squishy with a subtle orange flavour. AND HOW ABOUT THAT GRAHAM CRACKER CRUST?!? Just make sure you chill the evaporated milk so it whips up nice and light.

You need to make Tang Dessert. Like, immediately. You can thank me later. I’ll accept boxes of Cap’n Crunch as tokens of appreciation. 

This can only mean we’re left with the WORST caker recipe. What horrors await? Tune in next week for the final, gruesome reveal. It’s more disturbing than hair on a mole.

While we’re on the topic of Orange Finger Syndrome...

Until next week, stay home, stay safe and make Tang Dessert. Really.

Note: I bought two regular-sized cans.15 ounces is just a bit over one can, so I think you could likely get away with just one. 


  1. Made this and no one else ate it. Their loss. Also, unfortunately, ny gain.

    1. I'm glad you made it. And remember: Tang is orange juice, which is healthy. So Tang Dessert is a perfect way to start your day.