Monday, 15 September 2014

Reader Recipe: Canned Penis Casserole

Welcome to week three of Caker Cooking’s Reader Recipe Month! There’s a light at the end of this caker tunnel. It’s dim, but it’s there. I hope.

Today’s recipe comes from Kari who got the recipe for Lima-Sausage Casserole from the 1959 edition of Farm Journal's Country Cookbook. (Personally, I would’ve given it back to the Farm Journal.) This casserole calls for Vienna sausages. Kari says her husband calls them canned penises, which I think is a much better name. Just imagine the eye-twitching and awkward coughing when you bring your steaming Canned Penis Casserole to the table! (Be sure to follow up with Candle Salad for dessert.)

I’ve tried a lot of things on this blog, but somehow, I’ve managed to avoid Vienna sausages up until now. Sadly, they’re worse than I remember. They’re slimy and the colour of Silly Putty. And talk about small! How are you ever going to fill up on something so small? You’d have to put four of these in your mouth to equal the girth of one Johnsonville Brat.

Suffice to say, there isn’t much redeeming about Canned Penis Casserole, aside from the three-ingredient thing. I mean, it even has lima beans, for god’s sake. Who likes lima beans? They’re like the brussel sprouts of the bean world.

Anyways. Thanks, Kari. I think. Check out Kari’s blog, The Nostalgic Cook, and be sure to come back Friday for a genital-free reader recipe!

2 (10 oz) packages frozen lima beans
2 (4 oz) cans Vienna sausages
1 (10.5 oz) can condensed tomato soup, undiluted

Fill 6 individual casseroles or a 2 qt. casserole with lima beans. Top each with sausages. Spoon tomato soup over top. Bake, covered, in a moderate oven (350F) for 20 minutes. (See note)

Note: I let it cook for closer to 30 minutes. Not that it helped.

Source: Caker Kari via Farm Journal's Country Cookbook

21 comments:

  1. It was bad when I just imagined it, but that picture... wow, just wow.

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    1. It's not the most visually dynamic casserole, is it? Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever seen a visually dynamic casserole.

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  2. All I can say is this one is alarming! I don't know anyone who enjoys lima beans!!!!

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    1. I'm glad it's the lima beans that disturb you most about this casserole, Madame M.

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  3. There is absolutely nothing about this recipe that appeals to me.
    Well, except for that whole penis thing.

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    1. That's the problem. The penises aren't whole. They're all cut up. And canned.

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  4. Why would you buy TWO frozen packages of lima beans? Surely you could just cut the recipe in half. Who would eat this? Pigeons? This is the worst thing ever featured on your blog. Should have saved it for Halloween and a "Caker Horrors" theme week.

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    1. I tried giving it to the pigeons, but even they turned their beaks up at it. I think I'll take your suggestion and make this for Halloween. I'll blindfold my guests and make them stick their hands into it before telling them what it's called. I'll follow that up with a bowl of peeled "eyeball" grapes.

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  5. O Lawd.
    You know I think I saw an episode of Honey Boo Boo where they went camping & made this.
    I believe Mama June called it one of her 'multi-meal' dishes where she opens 3-4 cans/boxes of coupon discounted stuff in a pot & heats it up 'et voila' dinner is served.
    Then again Honey Boo Boo & her clan eat roadkill too.
    Then again I'm amazed I can watch Honey Boo Boo in Nepal (wonder what Nepalis think of the Honey Boo clan? EEK?)

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    1. I wouldn't put much past Mama June. Although you really think she's down with the lima beans? Canned peas, maybe. Lima beans, I'm not so sure. Honey Boo Boo wouldn't tolerate it.

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    2. I saw an episode where the Mama June & her kin treated themselves to a genuine southern style 'all u can stand' boo-fay. I was shocked to hear Ms. Honey Boo Boo herself yelling out to the server to put more lima beans on one of her 3 plates. Sure enough there were some soupy lima beans with chunks of what looked like salt pork or hamhocks floating in it on her plate. She wasn't having any of the collards or green beans sopped in pork fat (the only other remotely vegetable-like choices on the boo-fay).

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  6. I'm still marveling over the fact that I can find something that sounds truly terrible and then somehow convince another person to try it. This must be what it feels like to have a superpower.

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    1. Use your superpowers wisely. They can be used for good (like saving humanity) or evil (like making humanity eat Canned Penis Casserole).

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  7. These are wrong. Just. So. So. Wrong.

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    1. As my mom used to say, "Two wrongs don't make a wiener." Or something like that, anyway.

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  8. Strangely, Vienna sausages are part of Cuban cuisine: there's a rice-with-Vienna-sausages dish that some Miami Cubans claim is surprisingly good. I'm skeptical on that. Also, the nearest big international supermarket has actual penises for sale, frozen bull pizzles. I've see recipes for stew on line, but again... no.

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    1. Now why wouldn't you be interested in making bull penis stew? I'm sure it's meaty.

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  9. my god you kill me. i'm tempted to think that you altered that one vienna to appear like an uncut penis - but maybe that's just my overactive imagination.

    having said all that i must confess that i actually like lima beans and vienna sausages. but not like this. oh god not like this...

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    1. I was afraid to admit that I like lima beans. I feared I would be run out of town by a gelatin-mold-wielding mob.

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  10. Geeze this sounds bad. I remember my parents sending me cans of Vienna sausage when I was living in a college dorm, and even then no one would touch them.

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    1. I suppose even college kids have their limits. Thank god for Cup-o-Noodles. It got me through four years.

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