Chocolate Mug Cake

Bad news, folks. I still don’t have a kitchen. Mother was carrying my new golden harvest oven up the stairs and threw her back out. (I told her she shouldn’t have strapped it to her back but she never listens.) So now she’s laid up in bed and ringing a bell every time she’s hungry or needs a warsh. As if that wasn’t bad enough, I have a stove sitting in the middle of my stairs.

Thank the good lord for microwaves. Who needs an oven when you’ve got this little caker miracle box at your disposal? You can cook anything anywhere: the bedroom, the bathroom, even on a road trip (provided you’ve got a really long extension cord.)

I was sent the recipe for Chocolate Mug Cake by Madame M for Reader Recipe Month, but ran out of time. I was a little conflicted about the recipe in that it doesn’t involve cake mix (non-cake mix cake doesn’t even exist in the caker world), but, as Madame M pointed out, there are no bowls to warsh. So I guess it’s caker enough.

Having said that, the cake wasn’t very good. It was spongy. As in, I only ate half of it and used the other half to warsh the mug. Next time you want cake, it’s probably faster – and tastier – to eat a Ding Dong.

4 tablespoons flour
2 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 tablespoon chocolate chips

Mix the dry ingredients in a large mug. Add wet ingredients to the dry and mix well. Pop your mug into the microwave and zap for 3 minutes on maximum. (See note 1) Wait until the cake stops rising, and sets in the mug. Eat right out of the mug. Add a blob of ice cream on top if you wish. (See note 2)

Here's a closer look.









Note 1: Your cake will rise pretty high out of the mug while it’s cooking. It was pretty scary and I started screaming, which got Mother ringing the bell and yelling, “What’s going on out there?”

Note 2: Won’t help.

Source: Madame M

Reader Recipe: Glamourous Chicken

Hark! Do you hear the quieting down of gastrointestinal tracts across the land? That can only mean one thing. We’ve officially reached the end of Caker Cooking’s Reader Recipe Month!

What better way to wrap up the festivities than by tossing in some old school Bette-Davis-we-loved-you caker pizzazz? Reader Sara got the recipe for Glamourous Chicken from one of her nana’s church cookbooks.

I can only assume that Nana went to the Church of Hollywood because Glamourous Chicken really does live up to its name! Who cares if it’s the colour of wet concrete? The important thing is the taste and dang if this didn’t make for a moist bird. (Although the rice was a little greasy. Cooking in chicken fat might have something to do with that.)

Can’t you just picture Joan Collins eating this while riding around in her limousine, tossing wings and drumsticks at poor people?

“Eat, my destitute darlings!” she’d cry in her sophisticated British accent, rhinestone earrings shimmering in the late afternoon sunlight on Sunset Boulevard. “Eat like me!”

The one thing not glamourous about this dish? Cleaning up.

Thanks, Sara! And thanks to all of you for submitting recipes. I’m sorry I didn’t get to all of them, but rest assured, your recipe might appear very soon on the pages of this blog.


2/3 cup regular uncooked rice (see note 1)
1 package Lipton dry onion soup
1 chicken, cut into pieces
1 can cream of mushroom soup

Grease a Pyrex dish, 7 x 11 inches, and pour uncooked rice on bottom.  Sprinkle dry onion soup on rice.  Place chicken pieces on top.  Mix 1 can of water with mushroom soup; pour over top of ingredients.  Cover and bake 1 ¼ hours at 350 degrees; lift chicken at times to spread juice. (see note 2)

Note 1: Cakers, this calls for regular rice, not Minute Rice. Regular rice doesn’t come in a box and takes longer than five minutes to cook. Weird, right?

Note 2: Is it me or does the phrase “spread juice” seem dirty? Never mind. It's probably me.

Source: Caker Sara via her caker nana

Reader Recipe: French Cottage Salad

We finally made it! The last recipe of Reader Recipe Month!

Wait. Monday is September 30. Crap.

While I sort out the logistics, here’s something (and I really mean some thing) that reader Martine sent to me. Martine is Jewish and asked if that made her a "cacher" instead of a caker. I don’t know about that, Martine, but any culture that invented bottled fish can bring their paper plate to my dinner table any time.

Apparently, Martine’s dad invented the recipe for French Cottage Salad. Folks, I don’t know what the what this is. I mean, why would you ever want to bring these three ingredients together? It’s like an unholy trinity of taste. I couldn’t finish it, and for anyone familiar with this blog, you know that’s saying a lot. (Of course, the fact that my cottage cheese was past the due date and looked more like blue cheese might’ve played a factor.)

But who am I to judge? Martine's father apparently suffered from food trauma, including a bad incident involving a white fish and a large blue pot. (I had a similar traumatic incident, only it involved a white fish and a large blue woman.) I’m just glad Martine’s father enjoyed this dish. Because I’m sure no one else did.

Thanks, Martine! Everybody come back Monday for our (really) last recipe. Guess I better get the can opener out again.

2 pineapple rings
Scoop of cottage cheese
Wishbone French dressing (the creamy, orange stuff – otherwise he wouldn't eat cottage cheese and pineapple) (See note)

Place pineapple on a plate, top with cottage cheese and then top with dressing.

Note: I can relate. I can't tell you all the times I've announced, "I am NOT eating pineapple OR cottage cheese without salad dresssing on top!"

Source: Caker Martine via Caker Martine’s dad

Update: Sadly, Martine's dad passed away from cancer a few years back. She's running in the LA Cancer Challenge in his memory. If you'd like to help her out with her fundraising, click here.

Reader Recipe: Fondue Italiano

Bunjourno! Tutti a tavola a mangiare! (That means “Hello and welcome to the final week of Caker Cooking’s Reader Recipe Month!") As you might have guessed, I’m pretty fluent in Eyetalian thanks to the trip I took to It-lee at the beginning of the summer.

There are so many things I miss about It-lee. The hand gesturing, the life-or-death thrill of crossing the street, disco dancing with singing sensation Raffaella Carra. So I was over the moon when Jennifer sent me the recipe for Fondue Italiano from her copy of Better Homes and Gardens Fondue and Tabletop Cooking.

Having said that, I have mixed feelings about fondues. For starters, you need company. So strike one for me. And secondly, they can be dangerous. I once had a fondue pot explode! Luckily, it was full of melted chocolate at the time. There are many worser things to pick out of your hair for three days straight.

For those reasons, Mother’s forbidden me to own a fondue pot, so I had to improvise and use a bowl. Be careful when spearing your breadcubes! Mother almost poked my eye out with her chopstick. We really enjoyed the fondue. It was cheesy and meaty and both of us got a little giddy, thanks to the wine. Then we fell asleep before Lawrence Welk came on.

WARNING: This has, like, a lot of cheese. Don’t be surprised if, the next morning, your neighbour asks when you started taking trumpet lessons. I’m speaking from experience.

Thanks, Jennifer! Come back Friday for another reader recipe. We're nearing the end. Hang in there.

½ pound ground beef
½ envelope spaghetti sauce mix
1 15-ounce can tomato sauce
12 ounces natural Cheddar cheese, shredded (3 cups) (See note 1)
4 ounces natural Mozarella cheese, shredded (1 cup) (See note 2)
1 tablespoon cornstarch
½ cup chianti (see note 3)
Italian bread, cut into bite-size pieces, each with one crust

In saucepan, brown ground beef; drain off excess fat. Stir in spaghetti sauce mix and tomato sauce. Add cheeses gradually; stir over low heat till cheese is melted. Blend together cornstarch and wine; add to cheese mixture. Cook and stir till thickened and bubbly. Transfer to fondue put; place over fondue burner. Spear bread cube with fondue fork; dip in fondue mixture, swirling to coat. (If fondue becomes thick, add a little warmed chianti.) Makes about 6 servings.

Note 1: As opposed to unnatural Cheddar
Note 2: As opposed to unnatural Mozarella
Note 3: Chianti is an Eyetalian wine. It’s pronounced “Chee-Anty.”

Source: Caker Jennifer via Better Homes and Gardens Fondue and Tabletop Cooking

Reader Recipe: Frozen Fruit Loaf

Folks, we made it to the second recipe of the third week of Caker Cooking Reader Recipe Month. Are you still with me? [insert cricket FX]

Today’s recipe comes from Morag, who sent me the recipe for Frozen Fruit Loaf from 7-Up Goes to a Party! (It appears canned soda is more popular than I am, but I digress.) This recipe comes from the ‘50s, a period of time when our caker ancestors thought soda pop was a miracle liquid. I once caught my grandmother bathing in root beer. She said it was good for her arthritis. Not sure that explains why she polished the furniture with Mountain Dew.

Anyways, I made this and it was okay, although it was cold and made my brain freeze up more than when I’m looking for the hidden images in a Highlights picture. My main complaint was that it was too hard. The only thing worse than fruit is frozen fruit. If you’re going to chip your tooth, I’d sooner do it on a frozen Creamsicle than a frozen grape.

Speaking of grapes, you know how people sometimes see the Virgin Mary in toast? Tell me this doesn’t look like Dilbert. I’m going to sell it on eBay before it mel…Never mind.

Thanks, Morag! Come back Monday for a trip back to It-lee!

1 3-ounce package cream cheese (see note 1)
1 9-ounce can crushed pineapple (see note 2)
1 7-ounce bottle of 7-Up
2 cups diced fresh peaches
1 cup diced seedless grapes
½ cup sugar
½ pint whipping cream (see note 3)
1 ½ cups miniature marshmallows

Soften cream cheese and mix in pineapple. Stir in 7-Up. Sprinkle sugar over peaches and grapes and stir into mixture. Pour into a 2-quart refrigerator dish (see note 4) and freeze until partially thickened. Whip cream until stiff; fold cream and marshmallows into fruit mixture. Free until solid. Makes 8-10 servings.

Note 1: About a 1/3 of a regular package
Note 2: 1 cup
Note 3: I used Cool Whip. Of course.
Note 4: I used a loaf pan.

Source: Caker Morag via 7-Up Goes to a Party!

Reader Recipe: Canned Penis Casserole

Welcome to week three of Caker Cooking’s Reader Recipe Month! There’s a light at the end of this caker tunnel. It’s dim, but it’s there. I hope.

Today’s recipe comes from Kari who got the recipe for Lima-Sausage Casserole from the 1959 edition of Farm Journal's Country Cookbook. (Personally, I would’ve given it back to the Farm Journal.) This casserole calls for Vienna sausages. Kari says her husband calls them canned penises, which I think is a much better name. Just imagine the eye-twitching and awkward coughing when you bring your steaming Canned Penis Casserole to the table! (Be sure to follow up with Candle Salad for dessert.)

I’ve tried a lot of things on this blog, but somehow, I’ve managed to avoid Vienna sausages up until now. Sadly, they’re worse than I remember. They’re slimy and the colour of Silly Putty. And talk about small! How are you ever going to fill up on something so small? You’d have to put four of these in your mouth to equal the girth of one Johnsonville Brat.

Suffice to say, there isn’t much redeeming about Canned Penis Casserole, aside from the three-ingredient thing. I mean, it even has lima beans, for god’s sake. Who likes lima beans? They’re like the brussel sprouts of the bean world.

Anyways. Thanks, Kari. I think. Check out Kari’s blog, The Nostalgic Cook, and be sure to come back Friday for a genital-free reader recipe!

2 (10 oz) packages frozen lima beans
2 (4 oz) cans Vienna sausages
1 (10.5 oz) can condensed tomato soup, undiluted

Fill 6 individual casseroles or a 2 qt. casserole with lima beans. Top each with sausages. Spoon tomato soup over top. Bake, covered, in a moderate oven (350F) for 20 minutes. (See note)

Note: I let it cook for closer to 30 minutes. Not that it helped.

Source: Caker Kari via Farm Journal's Country Cookbook

Reader Recipe: Cherry Jumbles

Here we are – the second recipe of the second week of Reader Recipe Month! Those who make it to the end get a free bottle of Pepto Bismol.

Today’s recipe comes from Bob, who I once christened as the Duke of Cakers because he’s the man who introduced me to Tang Pie as well as Twinkie Cake. And as far as I’m concerned, that makes you the Fergie of caker royalty.

Now hold onto your rain bonnets, because Cherry Jumbles is a recipe Bob invented on his own! Well, it's really packaged cookie mix, but Bob came up with the idea of adding things to the mix. If that’s not a sign of caker geniousity, I don’t know what is.

I couldn’t find sugar cookie mix at No Frills. I did, however, find chocolate chip cookie mix, which saved me from having to buy the chocolate chips. (Bob, looks like you’ve got some competition in the caker geniousity department. LOL!)

Because Bob recently commented that he wanted to hear more from my taste-tester, the Reluctant Eye-talian, here’s what the Reluctant Eye-talian said when he saw Bob's cookies.

“Eesch. Those are ugly.”

Still want to hear more from the Reluctant Eye-talian, Bob?

Anyways, I liked them. They had maraschino cherries, after all. You could roll a maraschino cherry in sawdust and I’d still eat it. In fact, I think I once did.

Thanks, Bob! Check out Bob’s blog, The Fondue, and come back Monday for another scrumptious reader recipe.

1 pouch sugar cookie mix
¼  to ½ cup chopped drained maraschino cherries (See note 1)
1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips (see not 2)
Almond extract

Prepare cookie mix as package directs. If instructions call for liquid, substitute cherry juice; if not, add enough juice to the dough to make it bright pink and delicious. Add a few drops of almond extract and the chocolate chips. Bake as directed on package. When cookies are completely cool, glaze.

Cherry Glaze
Enough milk and cherry juice combined to equal ¼ cup. It should be bright pink and opaque.
2 cups confectioners’ sugar
Few drops almond extract.

Combine and spread on cookies. Let harden.

Bob’s notes:

1. I give a range because it really depends on how many cherries you eat while chopping them. Aim for ½ cup, but be satisfied with whatever you end up with.  Better get the big jar next time. If there’s any juice left over (ha!), drink it.

2. The miniature kind are fun.

Source:  Bob, Duke of Cakers 

Reader Recipe: Bierocks

Welcome to the second thrilling week of Caker Cooking’s Reader Recipe Month!

I grew up in a border city which pretty much scarred me for life. The main reason being was that I was forced to watch commercials for all the amazing things I couldn’t get in Canada. No doubt the neighbours heard the wailing whenever a White Castle commercial came on.

Today’s recipe comes from Patrick, who grew up in Minnesota, home of the hotdish and hot beef commercials. This is his mom’s recipe for bierocks. I’d never heard of bierocks and got pretty excited, thinking that beer and rocks might be involved. Turns out bierocks are like meat turnovers.

Patrick’s recipe calls for Pillsbury Grands biscuit dough. I went to two grocery stores and a Wal-Mart, but the only Grands I could find were the cinnamon bun kind. I’m assuming those weren’t an option, but folks in Minnesota may be freakier than I’ve been led to believe. In any case, I don’t think Pillsbury Grands biscuits are available in Canada. So I opted for Pillsbury pizza dough.

Patrick, if I’m ever stateside, I’m heading straight to Winn-Dixie (after a pitstop at White Castle), filling up the trunk of my Chevette with tubes of Grands biscuits, heading back to Canada and making bierocks the way they were goddamn meant to be made.

Having said that, the pizza dough was easy to work with. And the bierocks were tasty as heck. And ball-shaped. Kinda like a Pizza Pocket. Only with sauerkraut. And, uh, not the pizza part.

Thanks, Patrick! Don’t forget to come back Friday for another reader recipe.

1 lb ground beef or mild sausage
1 can saurkraut
Some diced onions and diced bell peppers
1 tube Grands biscuit dough

Fry the meat with the onions and peppers. When cooked, drain grease and then mix in saurkraut. Set aside.

Pop open the biscuit dough and, using some flour and a rolling pin, flatten out the biscuit, flipping and flouring so that it doesn't stick to the rolling pin. Spoon some filling into the centre of the dough. Fold the dough over, making a ball (pouch). Place fold side down onto cookie sheet. Repeat until all dough or filling is used up, whichever comes first.

Bake for however long the biscuit dough tube tells you. When done, spread some butter on ‘em and enjoy!

Source: Caker Patrick via his mom

Reader Recipe: Humdingers

It’s time for our second recipe in Caker Cooking's month-long Reader Recipe Extravaganza!

Today’s recipe comes from Bibi. She lives in Nepal, which I think is in northern Alberta. Bibi sent me the recipe for Humdingers (not to be confused with Dingle Hoofers) from a Louisiana church cookbook. I’d never heard of Humdingers before, but, like any caker, I’m always on the hunt for new ball-shaped foods.

These call for dates and if I'm going to be honest, I have mixed feelings about dates. On the one hand, they’re sweet. But on the other, they’re nutritious. So you can imagine my conundrum. In any case, Bibi’s Humdingers had my dinger humming. They were scrumptious! Even The Reluctant Eye-talian (that’s his nickname whenever I ask him to taste test something) gave them the thumbs up. The dates take on a caramel taste and once you toss in the Rice Krispies and nuts, well, you’ve got a little ball of paradise.

In fact, The Reluctant Eye-talian even had a suggestion. (This doesn't happen often.) “Why not roll them into logs?” he asked. “Then you can call it a Humdinger Finger.”

Back off, Martha Stewartson. He’s all mine.

Come back Monday for our next reader recipe. Thanks, Bibi!

1 stick butter
¾ cup sugar
8 oz chopped dates
1 tsp vanilla
2 ½ cups Rice Krispies
1 cup chopped nuts
powdered sugar

Melt butter and sugar over low heat. Add dates and cook over low heat until dates are melted (around 5 to 7 minutes). Remove from heat & add vanilla, Rice Krispies and nuts. Roll into small balls, then in powdered sugar.

Bibi’s notes:
I just heat and mix the sugar, dates, butter and vanilla over low heat until they become a caramelized goo using a WOODEN SPOON (see note 1). Then I pour the goo over the Rice Krispies and nuts and mix well. Allow mixture to cool for about 15-20 minutes before forming into balls or you'll burn your tootsies. I use a tablespoon to measure out the mixture for some uniformity in the “balls” (see note 2). To make the recipe more "familiar" in flavour for my Indian family, I add in the seeds of 10 green cardamoms (see note 3) and roll the balls in coconut flakes instead of powdered sugar.

Note 1: BIBI IS SERIOUS ABOUT THE WOODEN SPOON.
Note 2: Never underestimate the importance of uniform balls.
Note 3: That’s green CARDAMOMS, not green CARNATIONS. Carnation seeds don't taste good. I’m speaking from experience.

Source: Caker Bibi via Recipes from the Little Church on the Bayou, Cheneyville Trinity Church Cookbook

Reader Recipe: Frog Eye Salad

Sound the clarinets! September is Reader Recipe Month! 

I’ll be posting caker recipes submitted by readers every Monday and Friday. That’s twice a week! Needless to say, my oven’s going to get a workout. Now if only I could figure out how to turn it on…

When I was a kid, we used to visit my grandmother and extended family in Saskatoon. One time, I was eating a tapioca pudding I found in her fridge and my cousin told me that the little balls were fish eyes. Naturally, I started crying and my mom had to pull me aside and remind me that I was eighteen now and not to believe everything people told me.

So I was pretty freaked out when Jana sent me the recipe for Frog Eye Salad. Thankfully, there are no frog eyes in it. The “eyes” are actually little pasta balls. LOL! I don’t know the size of clan that Jana’s cooking for, but I thirded this recipe (which was very complicated for someone who failed Grade 10 math) and it still made a big bowl. So unless you’re the Duggers, proceed with caution.

All in all, Frog Eye Salad was pretty good. It's like Ambrosia Salad. My mom used to make something similar, only with Minute Rice. Adding carbohydrates to Cool Whip makes eating it alongside ham a little more understandable.

A little.

Y’all come back Friday for our next reader recipe! Check out Jana's blog, Time Travel Kitchen.

1 box Acini de Pepe (see note 1)

3 cans crushed pineapple

3 cans mandarin oranges

1 package mini marshmallows

1 large Cool Whip

2 tablespoons flour

1 cup sugar

2 cups pineapple juice (drained from pineapple) (see note 2)

Boil noodles according to directions. Boil pineapple juice sugar and flour 2-3 minutes. Stir in noodles and let sit overnight. Add remaining ingredients the next day.

Note 1: Don’t go into an Italian store, asking for Acne of Pepper. That’s not the translation. Trust me on this.

Note 2: Since I only used one can of pineapple, I didn’t have quite enough juice to make a third of two cups. If that makes sense. Anyway, top it up with water. Or gin.

Source: Caker Jana

September is Reader Recipe Month!

It's time for me to throw the caker apron back at you, dear readers. September is Caker Cooking Reader Recipe Month!

All month long, I'll feature caker recipes submitted by you. Fancy yourself a Martha Stewartson type? Does company rave about your Ritz cracker hors d'oeuvres? Think the world should know about your great-aunt's tuna and JELL-O salad? (God help me.)

Send 'er along to cakercooking at gmail dot com by August 31. If I like it (or not) I'll make it, eat it and post it. What could be more rewarding?

Pork n' Beans Bread

I don’t know what kind of pills they’re taking, but today’s senior cakers are nothing like the generation before them. Long gone are the needlepoint, ugly shoes and blue rinse. These days, elderly folks are hang gliding, purchasing prophylactics and wearing hot pants. (Trust me on the hot pants. There’s an old man in my hood who wears them and brother’s got gams.)

Awhile back, my mom took me to the mall food court where her posse hangs out. There was a square dance going on – and you should’ve seen these seniors cutting a rug! I even noticed a pair getting frisky in the corner. My mom said they were just sharing a piece of Freedent, but I have my doubts.

This week’s recipe was given to me by my mom’s friend Mia, who, at 96, is still going strong. (The preservatives in caker food mean we’re always the last ones standing.) Mia says Pork n’ Beans Bread is a family favourite and while I admit that the idea of eating pureed pork was troublesome, I’m happy to report that it’s moist (thanks, cup of oil!) and delicious. Like a soft spice cake. Only better. Because it’s got fibre. And, uh, pork.

Speaking of fibre, there ain’t none in Italy. Which explains my pinched expression during my recent visit there. Come back Friday for my “Caker in Itlee” investigative report. Let’s just say the Ragu’s about to hit the fan.

Thanks, Mia! See you on the dance floor.

15-ounce can pork and beans
4 eggs, beaten
1 cup vegetable oil
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups sugar
1 teaspoon baking soda
½ teaspoon baking powder
½ teaspoon salt
1 ½ teaspoons cinnamon
1 cup chopped pecans or walnuts
3 cups flour

Spray two 9”x 5”x 3” loaf pans with Pam. Don’t drain pork and beans. Put in a food processor or blender and process them until they’re pureed smooth with no lumps. Place beaten eggs in large bowl. Stir in pureed pork and beans and mix well. Add vegetable oil and vanilla. Mix well. Add sugar, then mix in baking soda, baking powder, salt and cinnamon. Stir. Stir in chopped nuts. Add flour, 1 cup at a time, stirring after each addition. Spoon half of batter in one loaf pan and other half in second loaf pan. Bake at 350° for about 1 hour.

Source: Caker Mia

Pieathalon: Chess Pie

This week, I’m participating in a pieathalon with other food bloggers. A pieathalon is an ancient tradition stemming from Roman times where they’d put Christians in the Coliseum and make them eat pie until they exploded.

In the modern day version, we were given a pie recipe by another blogger. Mine was Chess Pie from S.S. of Book of Cookerye. Now, I’ve had a lot of pie in my day, but I’d never heard of Chess Pie before. Why is it called that? Are you supposed to eat it while playing chess? If so, that wouldn’t work for me because I’m not one of those multitasking types. And chess always makes me think of that Bangkok song.

The recipe called for some weird ingredients, specifically corn meal, vinegar and that stuff called “oleo.” (I used butter.) Not to mention cracking three eggs took a lot of concentration. But all in all, Chess Pie was pretty tasty. It was like a custardy, butter tart. As far as the presentation, thank god for that aluminum pie plate because without it, you wouldn’t be able to tell where the pie ended and the countertop began.

Check out all the pie pandemonium by visiting these other participating bloggers. You’ll discover gems like Simone’s Pet Strawberry Pie (hope it doesn’t have hamster), Avocado Lime Pie and (gag) Curried Egg Pie.





Mid Century Menu – Avocado Lime Pie
The Retro WW Experiment – Nesselrode Pie
Retro Recipe Attempts – Curried Egg Pie
Silver Screen Suppers – Mile-High Lemon Chiffon Pie
A Book of Cookrye – Upside Down Chicken Pie
Directionally Challenged Cooking – Simone's Pet Strawberry Pie
Kelli's Kitchen – Butterscotch Pie
A Pinch of Vintage – Schoolteacher Pie
Grannie Pantries – Black Bottom Pie
Dinner is Served 1972 – Seafoam Cantaloupe Pie
Ginger Lemon Girl – Chocolate "Pie"

I’m off to It-lee today, so I won’t be posting next week. As the Italians say, "Arriva derchee!"

1 tbsp cornmeal
1 ¼ cups sugar
2 tbsp flour
3 eggs, beaten
¼ lb. oleo, melted
1 tbsp vanilla
1 tbsp vinegar
1 unbaked pie shell

Mix cornmeal, sugar and flour; add to eggs. Add oleo; cream thoroughly. Add vanilla and vinegar; pour into pie shell. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes. Yield: 6 servings. (See note)

Note: Or two, really, really big servings.


Source: Favorite Recipes of America: Desserts

Reader Recipe: Cherry La

CAKER WORLD PREMIERE!

When it comes to blog commenters, I have some of the finest. Seriously. You’re all awesome. Hearing from fellow cakers puts the “Hello!” into my dolly. Wait, that sounds weird.

Recently, Sara from Wisconsin commented on my Cherry Loaf recipe, confessing that she’d been having dreams about maraschino cherries. (I have them, too, but usually Captain Stubing is involved.) Sara said that there’s a road sign on the way to her sister’s place that reads “Cherry La.” She always thought it sounded like a fabulous dessert. So I said, “Go forth, caker woman, and invent it.”

So she did. And here it is! I've yet to make Sara’s Cherry La, but it reminds me of a snow cone – only without the syrup running down your arm. But a word of caution: you’ll need a zester and strong wrists to scrape the ice. (Two strikes for me.) Sara, I’m going to spread the news about Cherry La throughout all of Canada. Only in Quebec, it’ll be called Le Cherry La. Or La Cherry La. Something like that. I’ve always been le bad at French.

Thanks, Sara!

If you’ve got a caker recipe (original or not), email it to me cakercooking at gmail dot com and I’ll do my darndest to feature it.

And don't forget to come back Monday for the first-ever Pieathalon!

¼ cup maraschino cherry juice
¼ cup lemon juice (about ½ a lemon)
2 tsp. lemon zest
2 cups water
¼ cup sugar
¼ - ½ cup chopped maraschino cherries

Combine all ingredients in a saucepan and bring to a boil.  Pour mixture in a heat proof/freezer proof pan (I used a metal 9x9 cake pan). Let cool until room temperature.  Then put in freezer, making sure it’s a level spot.  Freeze for about 2 hours.  Once frozen, use a fork and scrape the surface.  Enjoy!

Sara’s note 1:  You may have to rearrange all of your French bread pizzas and unlabelled Tupperware for a level spot in your freezer.

Sara’s note 2:  Don’t use a cheap fork to scrape up the Cherry La or you’ll end up with yet another piece of silverware for your wind chime project.

Source: Caker Sara

Reader Recipe: Lime Cheese Salad

I can’t think of three words that have no business being strung together more than lime, cheese and salad.

Ian sent me this recipe for what he calls a “glistening, jiggling and milky-green caker classic.” Lime Cheese Salad has been a part of his family’s Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for as long he can remember. He reckons the recipe was handed over to his mom by his Great Aunt Doris. (Is it me, or does every caker family have a Great Aunt Doris?)

I wasn’t looking forward to this because y’all know that while I can get with a number of things, I can’t get with JELL-O, vegetables and marannaise. But I made it and…it wasn’t half bad. It was tangy, the pineapple provided a hint of sweetness and the almonds gave it a nice crunch. The carrots, on the other hand, were like that guy who sits across from you in the staff lunchroom and chews with his mouth open. Not welcome.

That officially brings Reader Recipe Month to a close. Thanks to everyone who sent in a recipe. Sorry I couldn’t get to all of them, but I’ll endeavor to make – and post – every single one in the coming months. Promise. Come back Monday for some great sex. Yes, you read that right.

When he's not eating Lime Cheese Salad, Ian is a historian of Food, Health and Nutrition. Check out his website. Thanks, Ian!

1 large pkg lime Jell-O
1 ¼ cup boiling water
8 oz cream cheese

Dissolve jelly powder in boiling water. Add cheese and beat well. Put this in the food processor to make it a snap. (see note)

To this mixture add:
2 tbsp vinegar
1 can crushed pineapple, drained
½ cup chopped almonds
½ cup mayonnaise
1 cup grated carrot

Mix again in food processor just till mixed. Pour into well-greased gelatin mould.

Note: I don’t know if my food processor has a leak, but damn if green stuff didn’t spew everywhere when I turned it on. Proceed with caution, folks.

Source: Caker Ian via Great Aunt Doris

Reader Recipe: Tender Bits Casserole

We finally made it – the final week of Reader Month!

When Caker Cooking reader Stephanie suggested I try her tender bits, I was like, “Whoa, this is taking reader relations to a whole new level.” Then I found out tender bits are a food. Or a non-food. They’re made with wheat gluten, oat flour, and soy protein. I don’t even know what those words mean.

I can’t get Tender Bits in Canada, so I went online. A case of 12 cans is selling on Amazon for seventy dollars! What other ingredient is in there – unicorn? Stephanie suggested I substitute grilled chicken pieces. Those were only $3.99 which meant I could make it and still afford to get Mother a Big Turk bar for dessert.

This recipe calls for barbeque chips. And paprika. Talk about being a wallflower. How can paprika compete with a bag of barbeque chips? Can you even see the paprika with all that other seasoning? I'm coming up with a new term: paprika complex. It's when you're so insignificant, you might as well not even try. But you should try this casserole. In spite of the photo above, it actually tasted pretty good.

Thanks, Stephanie!

1 can Tender Bits, drained and cut into about 1" pieces
1 can Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup
Use can to measure out milk, about 1/2 cup
1/2 onion, chopped (see note)
1/2 - 1 cup grated cheddar cheese

Stir all of that together. It will be thick. Add one bag of crushed BBQ flavored Lay's potato chips and mix together, then place in greased casserole dish. Top with paprika, salt & pepper and bake 350 for about 45-60 minutes.

Note: Stephanie says, “I usually sauté for a couple of minutes until soft.”

Source: Caker Stephanie

Reader Recipe: Fiesta Peach Salad with Miracle Whip Salad Dressing

Now there’s a mouthful. By the time you get the name of this dish out, the peaches will have fruit flies.

Today’s reader submission comes from Jennifer, who sent in this vintage caker recipe. She said it reminded her of sea urchins with the slivered almonds sticking out of the sides of the peaches.

That may be what she thought, but when I made it, all I saw were bloody demon eyes on a green monster face. Seriously. Just look at that thing! I’m going to send the photo to TLC and suggest a new show: "My Salad Was Possessed By the Devil." They can schedule it between "Honey Boo Boo" and the show with the cheapskates who re-use toilet paper. (And to think TLC used to stand for The Learning Channel.)

Demon eyes aside, this salad tasted pretty good. The almonds provided a nice crunch. And who can resist canned peaches? Just make sure you sprinkle it with holy water and repeat "The power of Christ compells you!" before digging in.

Thanks, Jennifer! Check out her blog. She describes herself as a Canadian vegetarian foodie but she lives in Monaco. (Isn't Monaco in Alberta?)

Eye-catching and tasty! Prepare raspberry-flavored gelatin as package directs. When firm, break up with fork. Stick shredded, toasted almonds into the edges of plump, sun-gold canned cling peach halves from California. Fill halves with gelatin. Serve on greens with Miracle Whip Salad Dressing.

Source: Caker Jennifer via a magazine clipping.

Reader Recipe: Ziploc Bag Omelettes

It's week three of Caker Cooking Reader Month!

Every now and then, I stumble upon a caker recipe that should come with a hazard sticker. When Mattel 1974 – she of Mexican Hat fame – sent me this recipe involving Ziploc bags, I was all like "Danger Will Robinson!" In a nutshell, you put eggs and chopped things into a Ziploc freezer bag, boil the bags and presto – individual omelettes!

But the more I thought about it, the more the recipe seemed, well, toxic. Even by my standards. Was it safe to boil freezer bags? Mattel 1974 said she’d never been brave enough to try it. That's when I visited the worldwide web for the answer. I found it on the Ziploc site which basically said, “Don't boil freezer bags, you caker fool.”

Fellow cakers, I know the idea of making omelettes without dirtying a frypan or – god forbid – having to flip the damn things might sound appealing, but please refrain. Instead, I've come up with a better solution – just boil your eggs in paper bags.

Make sure you read the recipe instructions below. The lady who submitted this recipe was working it HARD!

Thanks, Mattel 1974! I will forever wonder what these omelettes would've tasted like.

2 eggs, large or extra large
Cheese, ham, chopped onion, green pepper, red pepper, tomato, hash browns, salsa, whatever your prefer

This works great for guests. Have guests write their name on a quart size Ziploc freezer bag with permanent marker pen. (See note 1)

Crack 2 eggs into a Ziploc bag, shake bag to combine eggs. Put out a variety of ingredients as mentioned above. Each guests adds ingredients of their choice to their bag and shakes it. Make sure to get all the air out of the bag, then zip it shut.

Have ready a large pot of boiling water, place bags in rolling, boiling water for exactly 13 minutes. You can usually cook 6-8 omelets in one pot. For more have another pot ready. Open the bag and the omelet will roll out easily.

BE PREPARED FOR EVERYONE TO BE AMAZED. (See note 2)

Nice to serve with fresh fruit and coffee cake. Everyone gets involved in the process and it is a great conversation piece.

Imagine having these ready the night before, then in the morning putting in the bag and boiling for 13 minutes and you have a nice breakfast.

THIS REALLY WORKS. (See note 3)

Note 1: For those who like a few extra chemicals.
Note 2: SHE MEANS IT, FOLKS. PREPARE.
Note 3: IT'S NOTHING SHORT OF A MIRACLE.

Source: Mattel 1974 via the Newdale Raven’s Glen W.I., Manitoba

Click on the image for full caps effect.

Reader Recipe: Rainbow Squares

Is there anything more stressful than a work potluck? There you are, looking at a table of food made by people you don't really know. How clean is the accounting guy's kitchen? Does the receptionist let her cat walk on the counter? What if the IT guy licked the spoon or, even worse, made the food naked?

Caker Cooking reader Adam recently had a “Diversity Day” work potluck. Since he’s gay and a caker (otherwise known as a “gayker"), he brought Rainbow Squares. Can you imagine the gasps when he served this mutli-layered work of art? Paging the HR department! Someone deserves a raise.

Adam’s recipe calls for an envelope of gelatin added to each JELL-O package. That means there are EIGHT envelopes of gelatin in this dish. (Or approximately 84 hooves.) Folks, this JELL-O was so stiff, I could've fired a bullet into it and it wouldn’t have come out the other side.

Before anyone calls me out, yes, I screwed up the rainbow order. Red should be on top. I’m a bad gayker.

Thanks, Adam! You make us proud!

6 boxes JELL-O (rainbow order from the top: red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple)
8 envelopes unflavoured gelatin
1 can sweetened condensed milk

Mix purple JELL-O with one envelope gelatin. Add 1 cup boiling water and stir until dissolved. Pour into 9x13” glass pan sprayed with PAM. Refrigerate for 30 minutes. Dissolve 2 envelopes gelatin in ¼ cup cold water. Add ¾ boiling water and stir until dissolved. In another bowl mix condensed milk and 1 cup boiling water. Combine milk and gelatin mixture. Pour ½ cup milk mixture over the bottom layer of JELL-O. Pour slowly over a spoon to stop the mixture from making dents in JELL-O. Repeat using one layer JELL-O, waiting 30 minutes, then one layer milk mixture, waiting 20 minutes, ending with Jell-O (red). If the milk mixture starts to set, put in the microwave for 60 seconds.

Source: Gayker Adam

P.S. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Reader Recipe: Catherwood Muffins

We’re into the second week of Reader Recipe Month!

Today’s caker recipe comes from Kate, who got this "muffin" recipe from her math teacher, Miss Catherwood. It’s since become a family favourite. Kate’s sister even used the recipe for her wedding cake! (Beats the heck out of fruitcake, IMHO.)

Now that I think about it, I learned a lot from my teachers growing up. Important things, like sleeves are a great place to store Kleenexes. And music teachers can get very emotional in the days leading up to a Christmas concert. And smoking is okay, so long as you do it in the staffroom.

Another thing I learned: just because you call something a “muffin” don’t make it no muffin. Catherwood Muffins are cupcakes, folks. These have as much nutritional value as a mango-scented Yankee candle. However, they’re dangerously delicious. (I think the pudding and sour cream have something to do with that.) I have no other choice but to dismiss class and order you make them immediately. Consider it your Home Ec homework.

Thanks, Kate! Check out Kate's book blog.

Come back Friday for the next reader recipe. I finally win at JELL-O!

1 package (18oz) devil's food cake mix
1 package (3 3/4 oz) instant chocolate pudding mix
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup warm water
4 eggs, lightly beaten
1 1/2 cups chocolate chips

Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees. Place the first 6 ingredients in a bowl and beat for 4 minutes. Fold in chocolate chips. Line a muffin tin with large baking papers and fill with batter. Bake in 350 degree oven for 20 minutes. (See note.) Try to wait until they are cool enough to handle safely before enjoying the gooey, chocolatey goodness!

Note: I left mine in for 25 minutes.

Source: Caker Kate via Caker Miss Catherwood