Lazy Perogie Casserole

I don’t care what anyone says – cakers are pretty intelligent. I often think of us as kitchen technologists. There’s nothing we love more than taking something apart and figuring out how to put it back together in half the time. Just look at Cabbage Roll Casserole. You get all the taste in just minutes. (Unfortunately, you still get all of the stink. Make sure your Wizard gel stick is close by.)

Another great example of caker ingenuity is this Lazy Perogie Casserole. Do you know how long it takes to make actual perogies? Like, a long time. Just ask my Ukrainian uncle. But with this casserole, you get to eat and enjoy your life. You’re welcome, Uncle Orest!

Lazy Perogie Casserole tastes just like the real thing. The only thing it lacks is bacon. Or should I say, artificial bacon bits. You know the ones I mean. They’re the colour of bricks and look like fish food. But they taste good and you don't even have to cook them. Thanks, caker kitchen technologists!

Come back Friday for the final Bazaar-o-Rama round-up, my tour of church holiday bazaars. Then, on Monday, December 1, Caker Christmas season officially gets underway! I’ll post holiday recipes and crafts three times a week leading up to my Caker Christmas party, my annual shindig where I force invite Eyetalians to make – and eat – caker food.

12 to 15 lasagna noodles
2 cups cottage cheese
1 egg
¼ teaspoon onion salt (optional)
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
2 cups mashed potatoes
¼ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon pepper
1 cup butter or margarine
1 cup chopped onions

Line 9 x 13 inch casserole dish with cooked noodles. Mix cottage cheese, egg and onion salt; spread over noodles. Add another layer of noodles. Mix cheese, potatoes, salt and pepper; spread over noodles. Cover with remaining layer of noodles. Melt butter; add onions and sauté. Pour over noodles. Cover with foil. Bake at 350°F for 30 minutes. Let stand 10 minutes and serve with sour cream.

Source: This Legion is Still Cooking, Royal Canadian Legion Cowichan Branch 53, Duncan, British Columbia

Reader Recipe: Canned Penis Casserole

Welcome to week three of Caker Cooking’s Reader Recipe Month! There’s a light at the end of this caker tunnel. It’s dim, but it’s there. I hope.

Today’s recipe comes from Kari who got the recipe for Lima-Sausage Casserole from the 1959 edition of Farm Journal's Country Cookbook. (Personally, I would’ve given it back to the Farm Journal.) This casserole calls for Vienna sausages. Kari says her husband calls them canned penises, which I think is a much better name. Just imagine the eye-twitching and awkward coughing when you bring your steaming Canned Penis Casserole to the table! (Be sure to follow up with Candle Salad for dessert.)

I’ve tried a lot of things on this blog, but somehow, I’ve managed to avoid Vienna sausages up until now. Sadly, they’re worse than I remember. They’re slimy and the colour of Silly Putty. And talk about small! How are you ever going to fill up on something so small? You’d have to put four of these in your mouth to equal the girth of one Johnsonville Brat.

Suffice to say, there isn’t much redeeming about Canned Penis Casserole, aside from the three-ingredient thing. I mean, it even has lima beans, for god’s sake. Who likes lima beans? They’re like the brussel sprouts of the bean world.

Anyways. Thanks, Kari. I think. Check out Kari’s blog, The Nostalgic Cook, and be sure to come back Friday for a genital-free reader recipe!

2 (10 oz) packages frozen lima beans
2 (4 oz) cans Vienna sausages
1 (10.5 oz) can condensed tomato soup, undiluted

Fill 6 individual casseroles or a 2 qt. casserole with lima beans. Top each with sausages. Spoon tomato soup over top. Bake, covered, in a moderate oven (350F) for 20 minutes. (See note)

Note: I let it cook for closer to 30 minutes. Not that it helped.

Source: Caker Kari via Farm Journal's Country Cookbook

Temptation

Life is full of temptations, especially for cakers. Every day, we’re lured by things we know aren’t good for us. Like sodium, saturated fat and roast chicken-flavoured potato chips. But as I always say, “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.” I’m going to have to copyright that before someone steals it.

Last week, I pointed out how cakers can be a little lacklustre when it comes to naming our food. (See The Thing.) On the flip side, we can also be a little over-the-top. Anyone remember The Greatest Chocolate Dessert Ever? Or Sex in a Pan? (Which, between you, me and the fencepost, might not be that far of a stretch for some of us.)

Lady from Crumlin United Church, you call this casserole “Temptation,” and it comes out looking like this? Don’t get me wrong. Temptation was tempting. With all that sour cream, cream cheese and cottage cheese, you’re hitting all the right arteries. But really, is “Temptation” the first thing that comes to mind when you look at this?

No? Then how about Mucky Muck? Gobbledy Gook? Satan's Landscape?

Speaking of Satan's Landscape, September is Reader Month! All month long, I make and eat YOUR caker recipes! (I guess I'm one of those machoist types.) Send your recipe to cakercooking at gmail dot com by August 31 and I’ll do my best to feature it.

1 pound ground beef
2-8 oz cans tomato sauce
1 cup cottage cheese
½ cup chopped green onion
8 oz egg noodles
8 oz cream cheese
¾ c sour cream
2 tbsp chopped green onion

Brown meat and add tomato sauce. Boil noodles. Cream together cream cheese, cottage cheese, sour cream, onion and pepper. Layer in greased casserole:
½ noodles in bottom
All the cream cheese mixture
Other ½ of noodles
Top with meat mixture.
Bake at 350° for ½ to 1 hour.

Source: Favourite Recipes, Crumlin United Church, Thorndale, Ontario

Cheghetti

If you’re ever around Italian people, you know they’re passionate about three things: spaghetti, designer sunglasses and singing superstar Raffaella Carrà.

Please, fellow cakers, never tell Italians how we make spaghetti. Don’t say that we put oil in the water and throw spaghetti against a wall to check if it’s done. Otherwise, you’ll find yourself on the receiving end of a lot of Italian words – and none too positive-sounding. Whatever you do, don’t mention Ragu unless you’re prepared to deal with a lot of hand gesturing.

Let’s keep this Cheghetti recipe between us. The Italians don’t need to know how much we love spaghetti with Velveeta. (Which, by the way, is the reason I can’t afford designer sunglasses since Velveeta costs eight cockadoodle dollars.) The Italians won’t understand it. They won’t believe it tastes good. But you and I know differently. In fact, my mom said this tasted better than her Macaroni Casserole. This is major.

P.S. Don’t forget to scrape the spaghetti off the wall.

¾ pound ground steak (See note 1)
1 large onion
1 green pepper
1 ½ cup cooked spaghetti (break up 1 and 2 inches) (See note 2)
1 small can tomato sauce
½ pound Velveeta cheese

Brown steak, onion and pepper. Add the cooked spaghetti, tomato sauce and ½ of the cheese, cubed. Place this in casserole and slice the remaining cheese on top. Bake 15-20 minutes at 350° or until cheese browns. Serve 4-5.

Note 1: I had to use ground beef because the Velveeta took up most of my budget.
Note 2: Break up the pasta before boiling it. It’s a lot easier that way. I’m speaking from experience.

Source: From Our Kitchens…With Love, Glen Ayr United Church Women

Seven Layer Casserole

Isn’t the world full of stupid kitchen gadgets? There’s the Inside-the-Shell Egg Scrambler, the Rotato, those knives that can cut through a tin can and still slice a tomato. (I, for one, have never enjoyed sliced tin can. Too high in iron.)

Luckily, the rich tapestry of caker cuisine only requires a single kitchen gadget: the can opener. Having said that, sometimes cakers need a little extra help. Take this Seven Layer Casserole, for example. One of those mandolin thingies would’ve made slicing the potatoes and orange sticks (I think they’re called carrots) a whole lot easier. And less dangerous. I’m still not sure what happened to my fingernail.

I don’t know if there’s a specific reason the ingredients go in the order that they do. Personally, I would’ve put the meat on the bottom because after two hours of it sitting on the top, I could’ve used it as a pumice stone. Anyways, it tasted pretty good. In spite of the bright colours.

In a casserole dish put
Layer of carrots, sliced thin
Layer of potatoes, sliced thin
Layer of onions, sliced thin
¼ cup uncooked Minute Rice
Tin of peas, juice as well

Put layer of sausage or hamburger over sliced vegetables. Take tin of tomato soup diluted with water and pour over and cook with cover on for one hour. (See note) Remove cover to brown. Bake slowly for another hour or until done.

Note: The recipe didn’t give a oven temperature, so I cooked it at 325°.

Source: Mixed Blessings, Salem United Church

P.S. Take a good look at this cookbook cover. It looks like something, right? Please tell me I’m not the only one who sees something other than hands.

Velveeta Down-Home Macaroni & Cheese

The Loch Ness Monster. The Egyptian pyramids. The popularity of the Kardashians. Our world is full of mysteries.

I’ve said it before, but one of the mysteries that keeps me up at night is the price of Velveeta. It's eight dollars! Why does processed cheese cost more than real cheese? Isn’t the whole point of processed food is that it’s cheaper than real food? I mean, do you know how many games of skee ball I could play with eight dollars?

When my aunt sent me the cookbook, Velveeta Crowd-Pleasing Recipes, I thought two things: she must consider me her rich nephew and that I know enough people to qualify as a "crowd." Rather than tell her the truth, I asked Mother for an advance on my inheritance, bought some Velveeta and made the Down-Home Macaroni & Cheese. It was rich and delicious. Key word: rich.

Thanks, Auntie Gayle! The crowd loved it. I’m going sailing on my yacht now.

¼ cup butter or margarine, divided
¼ cup all-purpose flour
1 cup milk
½ pound Velveeta Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product, cut into ½-inch cubes (See note)
2 cups elbow macaroni, cooked, drained
½ cup Kraft Shredded Cheddar Cheese
¼ cup crushed Ritz Crackers

Preheat oven to 350°. Melt 3 tbsp of the butter in medium saucepan over low heat. Add flour; mix well. Cook 2 min., stirring constantly. Gradually add milk, stirring until well blended. Cook on medium heat until mixture boils and thickens, stirring constantly. Add Velveeta; cook until melted, stirring frequently. Add macaroni; mix lightly.

Spoon into lightly greased 2-qt. casserole dish; sprinkle with shredded cheese. Melt remaining 1 tbsp butter; toss with cracker crumbs. Sprinkle over casserole.

Bake 20 min. or until heated through. Makes 5 servings, 1 cup each.

Note: A half pound is a half brick. Or four bucks worth.

Source: Velveeta Crowd-Pleasing Recipes

Reader Recipe: Tender Bits Casserole

We finally made it – the final week of Reader Month!

When Caker Cooking reader Stephanie suggested I try her tender bits, I was like, “Whoa, this is taking reader relations to a whole new level.” Then I found out tender bits are a food. Or a non-food. They’re made with wheat gluten, oat flour, and soy protein. I don’t even know what those words mean.

I can’t get Tender Bits in Canada, so I went online. A case of 12 cans is selling on Amazon for seventy dollars! What other ingredient is in there – unicorn? Stephanie suggested I substitute grilled chicken pieces. Those were only $3.99 which meant I could make it and still afford to get Mother a Big Turk bar for dessert.

This recipe calls for barbeque chips. And paprika. Talk about being a wallflower. How can paprika compete with a bag of barbeque chips? Can you even see the paprika with all that other seasoning? I'm coming up with a new term: paprika complex. It's when you're so insignificant, you might as well not even try. But you should try this casserole. In spite of the photo above, it actually tasted pretty good.

Thanks, Stephanie!

1 can Tender Bits, drained and cut into about 1" pieces
1 can Campbell's Cream of Mushroom soup
Use can to measure out milk, about 1/2 cup
1/2 onion, chopped (see note)
1/2 - 1 cup grated cheddar cheese

Stir all of that together. It will be thick. Add one bag of crushed BBQ flavored Lay's potato chips and mix together, then place in greased casserole dish. Top with paprika, salt & pepper and bake 350 for about 45-60 minutes.

Note: Stephanie says, “I usually sauté for a couple of minutes until soft.”

Source: Caker Stephanie

Vegetable Casserole

The Caker Code of Conduct (CCC) is the belief system that the recipes in our cookbooks are tried-and-true; that the person submitting the recipe has made it over and over again to the delight of family and friends.

Recently, I was flipping through my cookbooks when a name jumped out: my own mother’s name. The recipe she’d submitted was Vegetable Casserole.

Immediately, something seemed off. I couldn’t remember eating this. (Neither did my sister.) Vegetables never took centre stage in our house. A quick scan of the ingredients confirmed my doubts. Fresh broccoli and cauliflower? Cook them separately? I could only wonder – was my own mother guilty of breaking the Caker Code of Conduct? I had no other choice than to make it, take it to her and try to get a confession.

“Here's some Vegetable Casserole,” I said. “Does it sound familiar?”

“No.”

“This is the cookbook it came from.”

She scanned the page. “Oh, that Broccoli Casserole looks good.”

I pointed out her name. “Vegetable Casserole is your recipe! Only I don't think you ever made it.”

She frowned and passed the cookbook back. “How am I supposed to remember? I made a lot of casseroles over the years.”

Then she proceeded to ask if the colour of my pants were popular among gay men and if I wore that much cologne to work. She also wondered aloud why my fruitcake never turns out as good as my father’s.

I put two and three together. I think there’s a CCC-breaker in the family. I'm going to need some time to process this.

1 fresh cauliflower
1 fresh broccoli
1 can mushrooms
1 can Cream of Mushroom soup
1 can Cream of Chicken soup
½ cup sour cream
½ cup mayonnaise
1 cup cheddar cheese, grated

Heat oven to 325°. Partially cook cauliflower and broccoli separately for 10 minutes. (See note.) Mix together cream soups, sour cream and mayonnaise. In buttered casserole dish, layer broccoli, cauliflower and mushrooms. Pour soup mixture over top. Sprinkle cheese on top. Cover and bake for 20-30 minutes.

Note: "Partially" cook the vegetables for 10 minutes? Maybe this is my mom’s recipe.

P.S. The main photo is a bit misleading because once you mix the layers, it looks like this. Can you blame me for wanting some colour on this blog?

P.P.S. My mom called tonight to tell me how much she loved the Vegetable Casserole I made her. Her caker ears must've been burning. Or she's feeling guilty about the fruitcake thing.


Source: St. Luke’s United Church Cookbook

Franks-and-Beans Pasta Bake

Every now and then, I leave behind my coil-bound cookbooks from the ‘70s and ‘80s and venture into the world to seek out modern day caker recipes. I guess I'm a glutton for punishment. But they’re not that hard to find. I just look for words like “weekday” or “time-saver” or “1-2-3” in the title.

Recently, I picked up a copy of Woman’s World magazine because it's important to know what the heck is going on in a woman's world these days. Based on what I read, there's a lot of eating, dieting, hairdos, dieting, fall canning parties and dieting. Woman's World readers also seem to like exclamation marks! I counted 187 in one issue alone!

I came across the Franks-and-Beans Pasta Bake and thought I’d give it a whirl. I mean, do I need a reason to cook with barbeque sauce? It tasted pretty good. It was tangy and reminded me of summer. But my Eye-talian taste tester made me promise to never mix pasta with barbeque sauce again. I guess it crossed a line.

Anyways, at 544 calories, 21 grams of fat, 24 grams of sugar and 1,241 milligrammes of sodium per serving, all I can say is good luck with the diet!!!!!!!

8 ounces wagon wheel or rotelle pasta (see note 1)
1 ¼ cups barbeque sauce
¾ cup tomato juice
1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
2 teaspoons dry mustard powder
1 tablespoon oil
1 onion, chopped
1 can (15 ounces) cannellini beans, rinsed, drained
4 hot dogs, cut into 1/2” pieces
1 cup shredded Cheddar cheese, 4 ounces

Preheat oven to 350°. Coat 2-qt. baking dish with cooking spray. Cook pasta according to package directions; drain. Meanwhile, combine barbeque sauce, tomato juice, Worcestershire and mustard powder. In large, non-stick skillet, heat oil over medium heat. Add onion; cook stirring occasionally, until softened, 7-8 minutes. Add barbeque sauce mixture, beans and hot dogs; cook, stirring occasionally until heated through, 2-3 minutes. Remove from heat. Stir in pasta. Transfer to baking dish; sprinkle with cheese. Bake 20-25 minutes or until bubbly and heated through. (See note 2)

Note 1: I couldn’t find wagon wheels, so I used pasta called “radiators.” What other pasta shapes are out there? Carburetors?

Note 2: Best eaten to Cher.

Source: Woman’s World, October 7 edition

French Fry Casserole

This week, I have two MAJOR announcements to make on Caker Cooking.

Number One: I ate a vegetable the other day.

(Okay, that was a lie.)

The real first announcement is that this week's recipe is for a casserole with French fries on top. 'Nuf said.

The second announcement is that the person eating the casserole is a refined caker gentleman wearing a pair of mint green polyester pants, brilliant white oxford shoes and a matching white belt.

That means Mrs. Hunter, proprietor of the fashion blog, Style Forage, selected Jennifer Goodwin's Lawrence Welk-lovin', Manhattan drinkin', polyester pant wearin' mac caker daddy entry as the winner of the Top 5 Caker Fashions contest.

Congrats, Jennifer! You're getting a copy of Grace: A Memoir, courtesy of the good folks at Random House Canada. (Jennifer, email your mailing address to cakercooking at gmail dot com.)

Thanks to Mrs. Hunter and to everyone who posted their caker fashion comments. They inspired me to bring the polyester back into my life. True, polyester can cause some chaffing in these hot summer months, but hey, corn starch is cheap.

Speaking of corn starch, there ain't none in this casserole. But did I mention French fries? Happy eating.

1 pound hamburger
1 can cheddar cheese soup
1 can golden mushroom soup
Frozen French fries

Heat oven to 350°. Place uncooked hamburger in bottom on 9 x 9” pan. Mix the two soups together and put over hamburger. Top with a generous layer of French fries. Bake for 1½ hours.

Source: Favourite Recipes from Skudesnes Lutheran

Pineapple Casserole

As a simple Canadian caker coming from a country with only 10 11 12 provinces, I often find keeping track of all those U.S. states confusing. I mean, Alabama, New York, Wisconsin, Miami. There's just so many of them.

I have some American Caker Cooking readers, so I like to give both of them a shout out every now and then by featuring a recipe from their land. This week’s recipe comes from a place called Lake Hasavu in Arizona. For those Canadians who don’t know where Arizona is, it’s that rocky place where the Brady Bunch went on vacation.

Just to add to my American confusion, this Pineapple Casserole is made with canned pineapple chunks, Ritz crackers and cheese. That's pretty much it. I mean, where’s the ground beef? The cream-of-something soup? Where’s the salt, for crying out loud?!?

Enough whining. Pineapple Casserole is tasty enough in that weird fruit-and-cheese kind of way. For all I know, it could be a popular dish in Arizona. But next time, I think I'll opt for pork chaps and appleshach.

4 cans Dole pineapple, well drained or 2 larger cans of other brand
1 ½ cups grated cheese
2/3 cup crushed Ritz crackers
5 tablespoons flour
1 stick margarine, melted

This makes a large batch – 9x9” Pyrex casserole pan (square). Serves 12-16. (May use smaller pan and make ½ batch for family size.

Place pineapple evenly over bottom of pan. Mix flour with grated cheese and sprinkle over pineapple. Sprinkle crushed Ritz crackers (or substitute salt-free crackers). Pour melted margarine over, bake 30 min. at 350 degrees. Good served hot with a meat course or later served either hot or cold as a snack or dessert.

Source: Havasu Regional Hospital Auxiliary, Lake Hasavu City, Arizona

Reader Recipe: Hot, Hearty Golden Puff

Can we be frank(furter) here for a minute? Every time I buy Velveeta, my heart gets ripped apart. Not because of the taste, but because of the cost. It’s eight cock-a-doodle dollars! Why is non-cheese eight dollars?!?

Anyways, here’s a recipe that Caker Cooking reader, Bob, sent in a while back that, until recently, I never had the money time to make. Can I remind you how much cakers love their saltine crackers? They're like communion wafers for us. Why, we even created Tupperware containers to house them.

While Hot, Hearty, Golden Puff (I prefer to call it "Cracker Casserole") may seem off-putting, essentially you’re looking at a cheese strata. (Only without the real cheese and, well, the strata.) I appreciate the fact that the advertisement below claims it’s “full of nutrition" but if it wasn't for that parsley sprig on top, could they still make that claim?

In any case, I enjoyed it, even if my wallet didn’t. Suffice to say, that's the last time I spend ten dollars on dinner.

Thanks, Bob!

Cover the bottom of a 12” x 8” baking dish with half a “stack pack” of crisp Premium Crackers. Cover the crackers with ¾ lb. of sliced Kraft Velveeta Cheese. Top with 2 tbsp. chopped onions and the remaining crackers. Over this pour a mixture of: 4 beaten eggs, 2 ½ cups milk, ½ tsp. dry mustard, dash of pepper. Set the casserole aside for one hour; then pop it into a 325° oven for 40 minutes. Sprinkle with paprika and serve at once.

Source: Bob via Velveeta

Reader Recipe: Richard O’Sullivan’s Horse Noodles

There’s a lot British people have given us, including the monarchy (I’m not sure whose faces cakers would put on their tea towels otherwise), Marks and Spencer shrimp chips and the sophisticated comedy of Benny Hill.

Speaking of sophisticated, here’s a recipe from UK reader, Jenny, the creator of Silver Screen Suppers, a blog devoted to recipes of the stars, including Vincent Price, Zsa Zsa Gabour, Joan Crawford and many others. When Jenny sent me this recipe for Richard O’Sullivan’s Horse Noodles, I was a little alarmed. I mean, horse meat is expensive. But it turns out there’s no horse. Only horseradish. 

Of all the recipes at his disposal, I’m not sure why Richard chose this one. The dish was okay, but it didn’t put the chime in my Big Ben, if you catch my drift. And the melted cheese left a crust in my saucepan – on top of the crust that was already there.  

But I’m not getting my knickers in a twist. It’s only a laugh, init? The British are the dog’s bollocks in my books. 

Thanks, Jenny!

Boil up a saucepan of water, add a ½ teaspoon of salt. Gradually stir in 3 oz (75g) of noodles. Bring it back to the boil and cook for about 10 minutes. Drain off the water, and stir in any scraps of cooked meat you have (or fried-up bits of bacon). Add half a tin of condensed soup… celery, tomato, whatever you fancy, and 2 oz (50g) grated cheese. Season with salt and pepper, and stir in a ½ tablespoonful of horseradish sauce. Reheat the lot in the saucepan for about 10 minutes and serve. Sensational!

About Richard (in Jenny's words): 

Richard was a star of 1970s TV in the UK and is probably best known for Man About the House where he starred as a chef who lived with two dolly birds. (Editor's note: What the heck is a "dolly bird?")

Here's a snippet of show.

Source: Jenny via Richard O’Sullivan's book, Man About the Kitchen

Reader Recipe: Mademoiselle Cleghorn's Stewing Beef Casserole

We’re into week two of my month-long Caker Cooking reader bonanza and today, we travel to Quebec!

Although I try to be inclusive, there are some provinces that are caker underrepresented on this blog, Quebec being one of them. So I was as happy as Bonhomme when reader Carolyn sent me this recipe. Carolyn’s mom used to be a visiting nurse and was given this recipe by one of her patients. It became known in Carolyn's house as "Mademoiselle Cleghorn's Stewing Beef Casserole." (Can’t you just picture the pom poms on this woman's mules?)

As an added bonus, this recipe calls for golden mushroom soup, not cream of mushroom soup. The difference between the two is that golden mushroom is made from beef stock. It isn’t as easy to find as its grey cousin, but you shouldn’t have too much trouble. Just look for the glow coming from the canned soup aisle.

Speaking of glows, Mademoiselle Cleghorn's Stewing Beef Casserole warmed me right up. Chock full of tender beef and canned mushrooms, it's perfect for those nights when all you want to do is kick up your mules and listen to Mitsou.

Thanks, Carolyn!

3 lbs of stewing beef
1 package of onion soup mix
1 tin of golden mushroom soup
1 tin of button mushrooms
1/2 cup sherry (See note)
No salt or pepper

Oven 325 for 3 hrs.

Note: Cakers are often named Sherry, but they rarely cook with it. If you’ve got some, great. If not, you could probably substitute with some other kind of booze. Just not Blue Curacao.

Source: Carolyn via Carolyn's mom via Mademoiselle Cleghorn

Broccoli Soufflé

Like Blanche Dubois, I’ve always depended on the kindness of strangers. (I’ve sometimes depended on their money, but that’s a whole other blog post.) So when a pair of Caker Cooking readers sent me a cookbook they found at a garage sale, I was reminded of the (Eagle Brand Sweetened Condensed) milk of human kindness.

I’ve mentioned before how much cakers love broccoli and this soufflé (taken from the cookbook) was a triple threat of “Hot Damn!” I’m talking Cream of Mushroom soup, broccoli and Velveeta! In fact, it was so good, it didn’t even make it as far as the kitchen table. I inhaled it at the counter.

The other day, the pair announced their engagement and that got me thinking pretty deeply. Marriage and broccoli soufflé share some similarities.

1) Both take the right mix of ingredients
2) Sometimes both are so good you can’t make it as far as the kitchen table
3) Both can leave you gassy (but it usually clears up by morning)

Now if only Mother would get off my back about the whole finding-the-right-girl thing with me. Apparently, there’s a bow-legged third cousin with an under bite that Mother feels is a good candidate, but I'm standing up to her. For once.

Paul and Bianca, congratulations. And may your soufflés always rise high.

1 bunch broccoli
1 can cream of mushroom soup
3 well-beaten eggs
½ cup butter, melted
1 medium onion, chopped
8 crushed soda crackers
¾ cup Hellman’s mayonnaise
1 cup grated Velveeta cheese

Cut up and cook broccoli until tender. Mix together soup, eggs, mayonnaise, onion, melted butter and cheese. Add ½ of crushed crackers. Add chopped broccoli and mix well. Put in casserole dish. Add remaining crackers on top. Bake, uncovered, for 30 minutes at 350°.

Note: I cooked it closer to 40 minutes.

Source: What’s Cooking at St. Joseph

Green Bean Casserole

It goes without saying that there’s a pretty big date looming at the end of this week. No, I’m not talking about that Mayan end-of-the-world thing. I’m talking about my annual Caker Christmas party on December 22. (I set it the day after Armageddon just in case.)

This year, I’m doing a “vintage” theme – all the recipes have to come from caker cookbooks from the '50s and '60s. Suffice to say, I think me and the Italians are in for some incredible indigestion gastronomical delights. I’ll post all the deets the following day – provided my sodium-induced edema doesn't get in the way. (I swear, I can't even get my knitted slippers on by the end of the night.)

In the meantime, help yourself to this staple of caker holiday dinners. Green Bean Casserole is so popular, even cakers who don’t know they’re cakers (which, truthfully, is most cakers) make this dish. If you want to ramp up the festivitiness of it, use the French-cut beans with pimento pieces. That way, pieces of green and red shine through the grey sludge like tiny bits of hope. And given the state of the world sometimes, I think we need every scrap of hope we can find.

2 one-pound cans cut green beans, drained (see note)
¼ cup milk
1 can Cream of Mushroom Soup
1/8 teaspoon pepper
1 ½ cups French Fried onions

Heat oven to 350°. Combine beans, milk, soup, pepper and ¾ of French Fried onions. Pour into 1 ½ quart casserole. Bake, uncovered for 30 minutes. Top with remaining onions and bake 5 minutes longer.

Note: Most people use the French cut beans.

Source: Let's Break Bread Together, The United Churches in Canada

Cabbage Roll Casserole

Good lord, cabbage stinks. I don’t care if it’s fried, pickled or boiled, the only thing more heinous than the smell of cabbage is the labour that goes into making cabbage rolls. Don’t get me wrong – I love cabbage rolls just as much as the next caker.  But I’m a busy person. I have cereal box mazes to complete and artificial ferns to dust and jazzercise class once a month, etcetera, etcetera.  I’m lucky if I find the time to celebrate the moments of my life with a cup of General Foods International Coffee Sugar-Free Suisse Mocha.

That’s why this casserole is a godsend for cakers like me. It combines all the taste of cabbage rolls with absolutely none of the work. (If you’re feeling a little too lazy, you can toss in a toothpick or two so your guests have something to accidentally pierce their upper palates with.)

I made this for my mom awhile back and she raved about it. (Of course, this is also a woman who has pepper in her shaker that’s older than me.) Serve with a dollop of sour cream and you’re in cabbage roll heaven. Just leave the windows open.

1 pound ground beef
1 tablespoon cooking oil
1 chopped onion
1 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
3 tablespoons rice
1 10 ounce can tomato soup
1 can water
3 cups coarsely chopped cabbage

In large frying pan, sear beef in oil 1 minute. Add onion, seasonings and rice. Saute 2 to 3 minutes. Add soup and water. Mix well. Turn cabbage into greased casserole. Pour meat mixture over cabbage. Do not stir. Bake covered for 1½ hours at 325º.

Source: 3H Club 1969 Cookbook

Church Lady Casserole Challenge

Recently, I was asked participate in a Church Lady Casserole Challenge with four other food bloggers: Mimi makes vintage Weight Watchers recipes, Retro Ruth blogs about all things mid-century, Yinzerella dishes up recipes from a plastic, guacamole-coloured box and Erica tests out retro recipes. We all dug deep into our collections and passed along a recipe for someone else to make.

I got stuck with the super-exciting-sounding “Potato Casserole,” courtesy of Mimi. Look, I’m the last one to throw stones at anyone’s culinary habits, but come on. How good could a potato, white bread and Velveeta casserole be? Besides, I’d already featured Schwartzies Hash Browns on the blog and if anyone knows cheesy potato goodness, it’s cakers. Right? 

Wrong.

Fellow cakers, we have been beaten. Potato Casserole kicks Schwartzies’ ass to the curb. This is simply the best potato casserole I’ve ever tasted. It's like I fell in love with it. When I was away from it, I couldn't wait to get back to it. I put it under my pillow at night. I even considered dating it, but that’s a whole other blog post.

Just do yourself a favour and put Potato Casserole on your bucket list. You won't regret it. So long as it's not thong season, m'kay?

Check out the other casserole recipes made by my lovely colleagues:

Lazy Bride’s Dish (made by Erica)
Anything Anytime Casserole (made by Mimi)
Sausage Apple Noodle Casserole (made by Ruth)
Cock-A-Doodle Casserole (made by Yinzerella)

Any guesses which casserole was the one I submitted? 

Just look at all the burnt cheesy goodness.

Potato Casserole
10 medium or 8 large potatoes, peeled, diced and cooked

1 large onion, chopped

4 slices fresh white bread, cubed

½ pound Velveeta cheese, diced (half the box)

1 tablespoon salt

¼ teaspoon pepper

2 tablespoons parsley flakes

Mix all together and put in 9” x 13” pan. Melt 1 cup margarine in 1 cup milk. Pour over potato mixture and cover with foil. Refrigerate overnight. Sprinkle with 1 cup crushed Corn Flakes or Ritz crackers before baking. Bake at 375° uncovered for 45 minutes. Serve hot.

Source: Our Best Home Cooking, Polish Civic Hall Association of Pittsburgh

Macaroni Casserole

A few weeks back, I christened a woman named Carmelle the “Caker Queen” because I’d featured two of her recipes on Caker Cooking. But I was a bit hasty in that declaration because if there’s anyone who deserves that title, it’s my mom.

It was she, after all, who set me on my caker path. To think of everything I’ve learned from this woman – that you can serve salads with marshmallows alongside roast beef. Or solidify pineapple rings in JELL-O. Or turn a cereal box into a gift box. To this day, the sound of someone routing through a kitchen drawer looking for a can opener is music to my ears.

My mom’s getting older and nowadays even casseroles can seem like too much work. So this past weekend, I did what any respectable son-of-a-caker would do: I went for a visit and made her Macaroni Casserole.

Of all the casseroles my mom made throughout the years (and believe me, there were many), this is my favourite. I don’t know why it’s so good. Maybe it’s the tomato soup. Or the elbow macaroni. Or maybe, it’s just mom.

As an added bonus this week, I’ve included another one of my mom’s recipes. Her molasses cookies aren’t technically caker, but they kick butt. And the ones I brought her this weekend got the thumbs up. So consider the caker torch officially passed.

Carmelle, I hope you’re OK with a title change. The bottom line is that there should only be one queen in your life – and that's mom.

Macaroni Casserole

1 package ground beef
2 cups dry elbow macaroni
2 cans tomato soup
Minced onion (optional)

Brown the ground beef and onion until cooked. Salt and pepper to taste. Boil the macaroni to desired firmness and drain. Mix together the beef, macaroni and tomato soup. Put in casserole dish. Top with Paramesan cheese. Bake, covered, at 375° for about a half hour or until bubbly and cheese is melted.

Mom’s Molasses Cookies

1 cup sugar
¾ cup shortening (see note)
¼ cup molasses
2 eggs
2 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
¼ teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon ginger
1 teaspoon cloves
1 teaspoon cinnamon

Mix together. Roll in balls and dip in sugar. Bake for 15 minutes at 350°.

Note: My ass can’t do the shortening. So I use unsalted butter.

Source: The Caker Queen
Forever a glamour gal.

Tuna Casserole

When it comes to the Caker Hall of Fame, Tuna Casserole is right up there with meatloaf, mock apple pie and the neon-green coleslaw from Kentucky Fried Chicken. But there are dozens of Tuna Casserole recipes and I’ve been suffering from performance anxiety. I couldn’t decide which recipe would be [insert echo effect] The Mother of All Tuna Casseroles…roles….roles….roles…

So when a family friend approached me recently, promising me that she had in her possession the “best tuna casserole recipe ever,” I told Carmelle to send it along and I’ve give it a whirl.

I’m thrilled to report that Carmelle’s version is not only the Mother of All Tuna Casseroles; it’s the father, the kids, the in-laws and your web-fingered third cousin. In short, it's got everything: canned vegetables, crushed potato chips, French Fried onions and a sodium content so high, you’ll be sticking your head under the bathtub faucet two hours later.

Thanks, Carmelle!

Think your tuna tops this recipe? Post it or email me at cakercooking at gmail dot com.

1 can Campbell’s Cream of Mushroom Soup
½ cup milk
2 cans of tuna
1 cup green peas
1 ¼ cup crushed potato chips
1 can sliced mushrooms
½ can French Fried Onions

Empty soup into a small casserole. Add milk and mix thoroughly.  Add tuna, 1 cup potato chips, peas and mushrooms. Stir well. Sprinkle top with remaining ¼ cup of potato chips. Bake at 350º for 30-35 minutes. Five minutes before end, sprinkle with onions.

Source: Caker Carmelle