Holly Cookies

Here’s a great way to share the wonder of Caker Christmas with the young’uns in your life. These Holly cookies are easy for kids to make and they taste great. Just like a Rice Krispies Square. Only they’re made with corn flakes…and they’re, uh, green. But aside from that, totally like Rice Krispies Squares.

½ cup butter or margarine
2 packages marshmallows (see Note #1)
1½ teaspoons vanilla
green food colouring
7½ cups corn flakes

Melt margarine and marshmallows. Add vanilla and food colouring. Pour over corn flakes. Fold to mix. Drop by spoonful onto cookie sheets. Add cinnamon candies or cherries for decoration. (See Note #2)

Note #1: I found 250g bags of marshmallows and 400g bags. I opted to go with two 250g bags, although you could try getting away with a single 400g bag.

Note #2: I can't put those cinnamon hearts on anything if it isn't Februray. I'm sorry. I guess I'm a purist. I opted for red M&Ms which gave a nice hit of chocolate. Plus I think they look nicer. Remember to place them "m" side down.

Source: With Hearts that Care and Hands that Serve, Outlook, Saskatchewan

Tips on throwing a Caker Christmas party

Pictured (counter-clockwise) are Delicious Corn Bake, Peanut Butter Cauliflower Casseorole, Popcorn Salad, Caker Lasagna and Polynesian Rice Salad

The date has been set, the invites are being prepared and the menu is being finalized. My annual Caker Christmas party is only a few weeks away! 

Non-Cakers may think it’s a snap, but hosting a Caker Christmas party is a lot of work. I mean, there are all those cans to open. But with a little preparation, patience and electrical tape, you’ll be a Caker Christmas pro in no time. 

Here are a few tips I’ve learned over the years.

1) Be prepared

Have an assortment of caker recipes ready for when the panicked procrastinators call the day before. If you’ve invited Italians, you’ll have to clarify the concept of “pot luck.” The idea of going to someone’s house for dinner and bringing a dish can be difficult for them to comprehend.

2) Approve ALL dishes ahead of time

I’ve had guests show up with some of the most inedible crap. People still talk about the year someone came with a bridge loaf iced with green cream cheese. It sat on the table like a satanic Yule Log. Then there was the Special K meatless pot roast. Remember: If you’re scared to eat it, don’t bring it.

3) Sharing is caring

I always ask guests to gather around the table and tell us a little bit about their dish. It makes everyone accountable.

4) Stock up on water

One word: sodium.

5) Decorate the shit out of everything

Wrap garland around banisters, curtain rods and pets.
Lay sheets of cotton batten over every bare surface to create snow-covered landscapes.
Divide your windows into smaller panes using electrician’s tape. Then spray snow in a sweeping motion to give the illusion of a winter wonderland.

Hang your holiday cards on a string. It’s like a laundry line of love.

Don’t forget the bathroom. A Santa toilet seat cover and some pine-scented Avon soaps can add that special touch while someone is dry-heaving.

Coming up Monday: Holly Cookies!

It's the most mangiacake time of the year!

It’s December and that can only mean one thing: Caker Christmas is just around the corner!

For those of you familiar with this blog, you know that Christmas is what started the caker ball a’rollin’. If anyone wants to read about my annual party, click here.

While I’d like nothing more than to invite you all to my house to partake in the festivities, I only have so many plastic forks.

But that doesn’t mean you can’t join the fun. Throughout the month, I'll post caker holiday recipes, holiday crafts and tips about how you can throw your own Caker Christmas bash.

Grab your electrician’s tape, Santa toilet seat cover and green food colouring. It’s going to be the cakiest Christmas ever.

Ranch House Casserole

What the hell is going on with Kraft Dinner these days?

When I was growing up, there were two kinds: original and spiral. Nowadays, you can get Extra Creamy, White Cheddar, Whole Wheat, Flax Omega-3, High Fibre, Three Cheese, Alfredo, and even KD made from cauliflower.

If there's one thing cakers don't deal well with, it's variety. So don’t even think about making this dish with anything other than KD original. As my grandmother once said, “To gild refined gold, to paint the lily, to throw a perfume on the violet, to smooth the ice, or add another hue unto the rainbow, or with taper-light to seek the beauteous eye of heaven to garnish, is wasteful and ridiculous excess.”

True dat, granny.

1 package Kraft Dinner
1 can Cream of Mushroom soup
¼ cup milk
½ cup canned sliced mushrooms (I used the whole can)
1 cup hot, cooked peas

Heat over to 350°. Prepare Kraft Dinner as directed on package. Add soup and milk and combine thoroughly. Fold in mushrooms and peas. Place in casserole dish. Bake for 20 minutes.

Source: Church of the Hosannas Centennial Cookbook, Hyde Park, ON

Chicken Crescent Squares

If the Italians have tomato sauce and the Urkranians have borscht, then cakers can claim Pillsbury Crescent Roll dough as one of the fundamental building blocks of our culinary heritage.

Cakers use it for everything. We top potpies with it. We wrap it around weiners. We stick a marshmallow in it and call it dessert. Heck, I’ve even used it a few times to repair dry wall.

These Chicken Crescent Squares pack a punch with a rich buttery exterior juxtaposed with a creamy, savoury interior. And who said croutons are just for iceberg salads? Play on, player.


1 8 ounce package Pillsbury crescent rolls
3 ounces cream cheese, softened
2 teaspoons melted butter or margarine
2 cups cubed cooked chicken
salt and pepper to taste
2 teaspoons milk
1 tablespoon onion, chopped
crumbled croutons or stuffing mix, combined with a little butter

Heat oven to 350°. Spray a cookie sheet with Pam. In bowl, mix cream cheese, margarine or butter, chicken, seasoning, milk and onion. Divide crescent rolls into 4 large squares. Fill each square with the chicken mixture and fold the square up over the filling. Seal well, making sure there are no leaks. Sprinkle tops with croutons. Bake for 20-25 minutes.

(Note: The dough is perforated and more rectangular than square, so it can be a little finicky to work with. But you'll do just fine. I know it.)

Source: The Best of Enbridge

No Bake Chocolate Haystacks

I don’t know what your idea of heaven is, but for me, it’s a church bazaar. And with Christmas around the corner, there are more church bazaars going on now than you can shake a cabbage roll at.

I’m talking individual turkey potpies in foil pie plates, mammoth aluminum coffee percolators, and craft tables offering up knitted slippers with pom poms and tea cozies.

Without a doubt, you’ll find these chocolate haystacks on a bake table, arranged on a Styrofoam meat tray – washed, of course (cakers aren’t fond of E. coli) – lovingly made by a Christian woman in open-toe sandals. Mark my words: they will taste like the work of an angel.

½ cup butter
1 cup brown sugar
1 cup white sugar
½ cup milk
3 cups quick cooking rolled oats
1 cup shredded coconut
1 teaspoon salt
6 tablespoons cocoa
1 teaspoon vanilla

Combine butter, sugar and milk in saucepan. Boil for exactly 3 minutes and add remaining ingredients. Blend lightly and drop by teaspoon on waxed paper. Chill.

(Note: The mixture got a little dry, especially towards the end. You may need to mold some with your hands.)

Source: Culinary Creations Down the Line, Interprovincial Pipeline Company

Reader Recipe: Tater Tot Casserole

I’m always happy to hear from fellow cakers (it’s therapeutic), so when Bob from Baltimore emailed to share his recipe for Tater Tot Casserole, I grabbed my can opener and gave it a try.

I’m thrilled to report that Bob’s Tater Tot Casserole is not only delicious, but it also has green beans. And that makes this caker recipe unique in two ways: 1) the vegetable isn't broccoli and 2) it probably has vitamins.

Have you got a caker recipe you want to share with the world the people who read this blog? Email cakercooking at gmail dot com. I'd love to hear from you.

Here’s Bob’s recipe in his own words:

Brown 1 pound of ground beef with a big chopped onion.  Drain.
Mix with 1 can Cream of Celery soup and 1 can Cream of Chicken soup.
Add 1 cup cut green beans, salt (go easy) and pepper to taste, and 1/8 teaspoon garlic powder.  (Yes, 1/8 teaspoon. Heaven forbid this should have any flavor.)
Pour into a greased flat baking dish and cover with Tater Tots (the original recipe called for 4 cups of them, but I’ve never measured Tater Tots in my life and have no intention of starting now.  Cover the whole dish with ‘em.)
Bake at 375F for 40-50 minutes, or until the Tots are crispy.
I usually up the amount of green beans considerably, and sometimes throw some grated cheese on top.  Because we like cheese.

Source: Caker Bob. Check out Bob's blog, The Fondue.