First off, get the good stuff. I’m talking Colombian. Roasts are expensive and you don’t want to be throwing money away on substandard cocaine. Next, sprinkle the cocaine over the roast and…
Oh, who am I kidding? This roast is made with Coca Cola, not cocaine. Do you think cakers can even afford cocaine? The most hardcore we get is a few discreet sniffs of Liquid Paper while painting our nails white.
I’ve never met a caker who didn’t love a Sunday roast, especially if it’s been cooked in pop. (My sister swears by a combination of Lipton Onion Soup mix and ginger ale.) While visiting my Mom last Sunday, I found this recipe in her copy of The Four Ingredient Cookbooks, or, as I call it, If You’re a Caker and Can Count to Four, You’re in Luck.
My mom and I gave this roast two thumbs up. It was tender, sweet and tangy. Note the side of broccoli. I've already discussed the caker condition known as "broccoli backwind." My sincere apologies to the other passengers on the Greyhound bus that night.
Beef Brisket or Roast
1 package dry onion soup mix
1 (12 ounce) jar chili sauce
1 (12 ounce) can regular Coke
Mix soup, chili sauce and Coke together. Pour over roast, cover and bake at 350° for 30 minutes per pound. DO NOT USE FOIL WITH THIS BECAUSE OF COKE.