If there's one place you'll always find a caker, it's a bar – a salad bar.
I don't know when the love affair between cakers and salad dressing began, but let's just say it's been a hot and creamy one ever since.
Consider the cornucopia of flavours available to us: Thousand Island, French, Italian, Ranch, and, of course, the seductive sweet/sour tang of Catalina.
Speaking of Catalina, here's a recipe that takes it from the salad bar and into the heart of Mexican cuisine. OK, maybe not the "heart." More like the pinkie toe.
2 cups cooked rice (cooled)
1 green pepper
1 small onion
2 tomatoes, chopped
½ cup sliced, stuffed olives
½ bottle Catalina salad dressing
Mix chopped vegetables. Add rice, then dressing. Mix well.
Source: This recipe book doesn't have a cover, but I think it's a collection from Eaton’s employees. And can I just say how much I miss Eaton's?
I recently came across two peanut butter cookie recipes. One was a caker recipe using white cake mix. The other was a "top secret" Mennonite recipe calling for Bisquick. That got me wondering. In the ultimate PB cookie throwdown, which of these cookies would reign supreme?
I made both and conducted taste tests among my colleagues. In the end, it all came down to texture. The cake mix cookie was crisp whereas the Mennonite cookie was soft. Suffice to say, the Mennonite cookie won by a landslide. (See what happens when you have God on your side?) Personally, my favourite was the crispier cookie. Then again, I'm a caker. Go figure.
I’m posting both recipes so you can try both and then wonder why, like me, you’re having to spray your legs with PAM every morning to get on your Orange Tab Levi’s.
 |
| Crispy |
Peanut Butter Cookies The Cake Mix Way
1 large package white cake mix
½ cup oil
1 cup peanut butter
2 tablespoons water
2 eggs
Combine all ingredients. Scrape from teaspoon onto ungreased sheet. Flatten with fork. Bake at 350° for 10 to 15 minutes. Yields approximately 5 dozen cookies.
Source: High Park Elementary School Cookbook
 |
| Chewy |
Mennonite Peanut Butter Cookie
2 cups Bisquick
¾ cup smooth peanut butter
1 can sweetened condensed milk
1 teaspoon vanilla
Mix all ingredients together and roll into 1-inch balls. Roll in sugar, place on a baking sheet and gently flatten with a fork. Bake at 350° for 8 minutes only. Makes about 36 cookies.
Source: Apparently, this is a “top secret” recipe, so I can’t reveal the source. Those Mennonites don’t like their recipes getting out into the world, especially if it's into the hands of a caker. Needless to say, I’m checking over my shoulder these days. But to the person who passed it along - thanks!
After the disaster that was Pizza in a Tunnel at Caker Christmas 2011, I needed to repair the reputation of a caker staple found at funerals, baby showers and Sunday visits with spinster aunts. Yep, I’m talkin’ ‘bout da Bundt.
Just imagine the delight on everyone’s face when you slice through The Ruby Slipper Cake to reveal its secret neon interior. Whether or not that interior resembles a “slipper” is open for debate. I suppose calling it “The Ruby Slash Cake” sounds a little sinister. Or dirty. Or both.
Either way, this cake puts the fun back into your Bundt.
Wait a minute. Does that make this a Fundt?
½ cup chopped pecans (see note)
1 package white cake mix
1 cup sour cream
¼ cup water
2 eggs
1 package (3 oz) JELL-O Raspberry Jelly Powder
Icing Sugar
Sprinkle nuts evenly over bottom of a thoroughly greased and floured 10-inch tube pan. Combine cake mix, sour cream, water and eggs in large mixer bowl. Blend. Then beat at medium speed of electric mixer for 2 minutes. Sprinkle jelly powder into ½ cup batter and blend. Pour on third of batter over nuts in pan. Spoon about half of jelly mixture in a one-inch ring around the centre of the pan, keeping away from sides. Repeat layers ending with white cake batter, spreading it over the jelly mixture to cover. Bake at 350° for 45-50 minutes. Cool in pan 5 minutes. Remove and continue cooling. Sprinkle with icing sugar.
Note: I don’t know about you, but my ass is post-holiday broke. I opted for walnuts because they're cheaper.
Source: Not sure. But I bet this clipping is taken from a TV Guide featuring the cast of Diff’rent Strokes on the cover.
OK, maybe not. But would anyone be surprised?
Truthfully, this caker is a little cakered out. I need some time for my arteries to unclog. But fear not. I'll be back with a whole new year of recipes starting in January.
In the meantime, I've put together a list of my favourite recipes from 2011. Granted, it was hard narrowing things down. I mean, choosing between Cheesy Cruncharoni casserole and Taco Salad casserole was like asking which Kardashian sister was my favourite. But I persevered.
If I didn't include a recipe you liked, feel free to comment.
Happy Holidays!
Brian
My Top 5 Caker Recipes of 2011
1) Mock Apple Pie
You have to make it to believe it.
2) Pineapple Cream Cake
Let this baby ferment for a week or so.
3) Mars Bars
The bars that give Rice Krispies Squares an inferiority complex.
4) Taco Salad Casserole
This is, like, a national dish in Mexico!
5) Porcupine Meatballs
Well worth the lingering stinkiness.
I’ve got a fridge full of congealing leftovers, the curtains smell all ground beefy and I’ve passed enough wind today to power a turbine. That can only mean one thing, folks – another Caker Christmas has come and gone.
This year saw some caker culinary highs. And, sadly, some new lows. Here’s a rundown of what was made, what was enjoyed and what met the trashcan.
Pickle Puffs
Who doesn’t love a hot pickle? These were a hit.
¼ cup softened butter or margarine
1 cup sharp grated cheese
½ cup flour
¼ teaspoon salt
½ teaspoon paprika
24 small pickles, stuffed olives, onions or nuts
Blend cheese with butter. Stir in salt, flour, and paprika. Place dough on square of waxed paper and form into 6” roll. Dry pickles. Slice roll into ¼” slices and wrap around pickle covering completely. Arrange on ungreased cookie sheet. Store in refrigerator until party. Bake at 400 for 10-12 minutes. May be frozen before cooking.
Source: Favourite Recipes, Bloordale United Church
Confetti Sandwiches
The bad news? These sandwiches had maraschino cherries and gherkins. The good news? They were strangely tasty.
1 ½ pound package Philadelphia cream cheese
12 red and 12 green cherries
2 tablespoons chopped celery
1 tablespoon chopped green pepper
1 teaspoons sugar
1 teaspoons Miracle Whip
½ teaspoon dry mustard
Cream cheese and add Miracle Whip and mustard. Combine with rest of ingredients and add 3 or 4 chopped gherkins. Spread on bread and cut to desired size.
Source: Fredericton Christ Church Cathedral Ladies Group
Hot Cheese in Pastry
The recipe called for Gouda. I couldn’t find any at the No Frills. So I got Brie – a decision that would prove to be the night’s biggest controversy. “How is Brie caker?” the Italians wanted to know. I pointed out it was wrapped in crescent dough. They refused to budge. Italians were telling a caker what was caker. I couldn't tell if this was one of the proudest or saddest moments of my life.
1 small round Gouda cheese
1 package Pillsbury Crescent Roll dough
Peel the Gouda and centre it on the rolled dough. Wrap the cheese in the dough. Follow the baking instructions for the crescent rolls. You may want to lower your temperature a bit and increase the baking time to make sure all the cheese is melted. Serve hot. Let people cut their own wedges and serve with or without crackers. Decadently delicious and delightfully easy.
Source: Our Favourite Recipes Cookbook, C.F.B. Winnipeg Ceramic Club
Salmon Cheese Casserole
No one, not even the person who made this, had high expectations for this. But aside from some “bone issues,” most were pleasantly surprised.
1 tin salmon, undrained
¼ cup chopped green pepper
¼ cup chopped onion
1 tablespoon chopped pimento
1 cup mayonnaise
1 tablespoon prepared mustard
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon curry powder
1/8 teaspoon pepper
5-6 bread slices
5 cheese slices, cut to form 10 triangles
2 large eggs
½ cup milk
Heat oven to 350°. Mix undrained salmon, onion, pepper, pimento, mayonnaise and seasoning together. Line baking dish with bread (or cube it and mix into mixture). Spread salmon mixture over bread. Beat eggs and milk and pour over all. Cover with foil and bake for 30 minutes. Arrange cheese slices on top and bake for 10 minutes without foil.
Source: "Let's Break Bread Together," The United Churches in Canada
French Fry SPAM Casserole
Nothing says Christmas like cubed SPAM. All in all, a solid, cornflake-topped, soup-based caker classic. No shame in the SPAM, friends.
1 (20 ounce) bag frozen French fry potatoes, thawed
2 cups shredded Cheddar cheese
2 cups sour cream
1 can Cream of Mushroom soup
1 can SPAM Classic, cut into cubes
½ cup chopped red bell pepper
½ cup chopped green onions
½ cup finely crushed cornflakes
Heat oven to 350°. In large bowl, combine potatoes, cheese, sour cream and soup. Stir in SPAM Classic, bell pepper and onions. Spoon into 9x13” pan. Sprinkle with cornflakes. Bake casserole 30 to 40 minutes or until heated thoroughly.
Source: www.spam.com
Copper Pennies
Some people balked at the sweetness of this dish, while others argued it was the tastiest dish of the night. OK, one person did.
2 pounds fresh carrots
2 medium onions
1 medium green pepper
1 can tomato soup
¾ cup vinegar
2/3 cup sugar
½ cup cooking oil
1 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
1 teaspoon prepared mustard
½ teaspoon salt
Slice carrots in ¼ inch rounds. Cook until just tender. Drain carrots and add sliced onion and green pepper. Mix remaining ingredients and pour over vegetables. Combine and marinate for several hours or overnight. Drain marinade before serving.
Source: Our Favourite Recipes St. Michael the Archangel Catholic Woman’s League
Cheesy Cruncharoni
Velveeta. Fried onions. And not one, but two cans of soup. The hands-down winner of “Best Dish of Caker Christmas 2011.” I can only imagine how hollow that victory must be for an Italian.
2 cups macaroni
1 can tomato soup
1 can cream of mushroom soup
1 (3 ounce) can fried onions
2 cups Velveeta cheese
1 pound hamburger
½ cup green pepper
¼ cup chopped pimento
Heat over to 350°. Cook macaroni. Drain. Brown hamburger and drain fat. Add soups, green pepper, pimento and macaroni. Place half the mixture in a greased 2 quart casserole. Sprinkle with half the cheese and half the onions. Top with remaining macaroni mixture and cheese. Bake for 25 minutes. Sprinkle with remaining onions and bake for 5 minutes longer. Serves 8.
Source: The recipe book is from Wisconsin, but doesn't have a cover, so I've christened it "Coverless Wisconsin Cookbook."
Pizza in a Tunnel
This one tanked. Big time. Call me old-fashioned, but the only thing that should be made in a Bundt pan is a Bundt. Speaking of Bundts…
3 cups biscuit mix (Bisquick)
2/3 cup milk
2 eggs
2 tablespoons butter
1 ½ cups fresh sliced mushrooms
1 package slice pepperoni
1 (14 ounce) jar pizza sauce
2 cups shredded mozzarella cheese
Grease 10” fluted pan. For crust: in a large mixing bowl, combine biscuit mix, milk, eggs and butter. Beat at low speed for 1 minute. With back of spoon, spread 2/3 of dough on bottom and up sides of pan. Layer mushrooms, pepperoni, sauce and 1½ cups of cheese. Spread remaining dough over cheese top layer. Bake at 400° for 30 minutes. Let stand for 10 minutes. Top with remaining cheese. Return to oven for 2 minutes. Makes 6 to 8 servings.
Source: High Park Elementary School Cookbook
Black Forest Cake
Ugh. Made by yours truly, this was a dud of a dessert. There was cake powder throughout. Even the dollop of Cool Whip on the side couldn’t save it. If I were you, I'd pass on this one and enjoy a good Dump instead.
¾ package miniature marshmallows
1 chocolate cake mix
1 can cherry pie filling
In a 9x13” pan (spray lightly with Pam), line with miniature marshmallows. Put cake mix on top of marshmallows. Cherry pie filling on top. Bake at 325° to 350° till cake is done. (Marshmallows will come to the top.) Cut in squares. Top with whipping cream.
Source: Paterson Memorial Presbyterian Church 75th Anniversary Cookbook
Sweet Marie Bars
Peanuts. Chocolate. Peanut butter. That Marie's a classy broad. Everyone's sweet on her.
½ cup peanut butter
½ cup corn syrup
½ cup brown sugar
2 cups peanuts
6 ounces chocolate chips plus 1 teaspoon butter
Melt together peanut butter, corn syrup and brown sugar in double boiler until it becomes warm. Add peanuts. Mix well. Spread in 8x8” pan. Melt chocolate chips and butter and cover top of squares.
Source: A.R.C. Industries Cookbook
Some guests brought squares previously featured on Caker Cooking, including Quick and Easy Skor Bars. Another person brought Peanut Butter Marshmallow Squares, but didn’t know what “butterscotch chips” were. (She’s Greek.) Instead, she melted Werther’s candy. The result? Well, let me put it this way. There’s a lot to be said for good intentions.
Speaking of Greeks...
It's the sound of a can opening!
Tonight is my annual Caker Christmas party! Aside from having to listen to the unsolicited commentary by my Italian partner ("Those lights better not scratch the wall!" "I can't believe there's a half a cup of oil in this!"), everything is running as smoothly as melted Velveeta.
I've got the carrots marinating in tomato soup, I'm just about to make my three-ingredient Black Forest Cake and I'm on my third rum and Coke.
Watch for Monday's post. I'll include a complete rundown of the event, including photos of the dishes and all the recipes. (I've also got a spy cam set up to capture all the Italians going back for second helpings.)
Until then, hang tight!
If you’re anything like me (and my condolences if you are), you’ve had a fruitcake fermenting in the garage since October and you're simply dizzy in anticipation to unveil it at Caker Christmas. (Mind you, this "unveiling" will produce a reaction in your guests not unlike the sound of paint drying.)
If you’re nothing like me (yay for you!), you just read this and thought, “Crap. I forgot to make a fruitcake.”
Luckily for you, the women of the Runnymede United Church offer up a simple, no fuss, no bake, marshmallow-laden fruitcake that only takes one week to age. I've said it before and I'll say it again – church ladies will save your ass every time.
48 marshmallows (see note)
1/3 cup apple juice
¾ cup Carnation evaporated milk
1 ½ cups crushed gingersnaps
1 cup seedless raisins
1 cup halved candied cherries
4 ¾ cup crushed vanilla wafers
2 cups broken pecans
1 cup mixed candied fruit
Cut marshmallows into quarters and pour Carnation milk and apple juice over and let stand for 3 hours, stirring occasionally. Mix crushed vanilla wafers and gingersnaps, nuts, raisins, fruit and cherries in a large bowl. Add marshmallow mixture and mix well. Pack into foil lined loaf pan. Cover top with foil and leave in fridge for 3-4 days before cutting. It is best to leave a week or so or more to age. Keep stored, covered in fridge.
Note: One 400g bag has enough large-sized marshmallows in it. And no, I have no idea why it has to be 48 marshmallows. Those of you living on the edge can try using 47 or 49, but don't come crying to me if your fruitcake flops.
Source: Centennial Plus One Cook Book
